There are few word combinations that I hate more than B.REAST C.ANCER.
My favorite aunt died from bre.ast ca.ncer approximately 6 months after Dan & I were married...almost 11.5 years ago. I have such wonderful memories of her. She was a strong, beautiful, confident woman. She left behind 3 daughters, her husband, a sister, a brother, her mother, and 10 grandchildren. She was my mom's sister, who my mom still misses so much each and every day.
We each have moments in life that you never forget where you were, or the feelings and adrenaline that rushed through your body at that instant. The shear thought brings you back instantly, to the extent that your body reacts as if that moment is happening again.
I was in my closet, purging clothing for goodwill when I got a phone call from my mom. I had been waiting for her call, because she was waiting for test results from a lab. She had a mamm.ogram two weeks prior, and a needle biopsy the week prior because they were worried about a small area found in the m.ammogram. Today she would be getting her results from the needle biopsy.
She told me she had br.east c.ancer. I couldn't help but immediately start crying. She started crying. I would have done anything to be by her side at that moment so I could just hug and hold her, and let her know how much I love her. I told her we'd get her through this on top. She was going to be ok. I was scared for her. Scared for me. And, I couldn't imagine the fear, disbelief and all of the other emotions I was sure were consuming her completely.
We talked about next steps. We pondered the reality of the situation... and how we could not believe this was happening.
When I hung up the phone, I cried more.
She just doesn't deserve this. No woman does.
B.reast canc.er just sucks. And, it seems to be everywhere.
I told my husband. He felt the blow.
I told my kids. They had a lot of questions... every answer I gave them ended in "....but she's going to be ok."
And, just like that... my family was hit with brea.st can.cer.
5/23/13
5/22/13
They're SO BIG!
ME: "Giuliana, these shoes don't fit you anymore. Your feet have grown! And look at your toes... wow - they're so long!"
GIULIANA: "And look at my boobies... they're SO BIG!"
[[I don't know how kids come up with this stuff... but every day they make me laugh so hard.]]
GIULIANA: "And look at my boobies... they're SO BIG!"
[[I don't know how kids come up with this stuff... but every day they make me laugh so hard.]]
5/3/13
Marco is ONE!
My baby boy is one year old! ONE! Where does the time go? [sniff sniff]
His birthday was a flurry of activity! School drop-offs and pickups for the big kids, Giuliana had gymnastics, and Dan was supposed to arrive home from a business trip that afternoon. Then, of course I had a house showing that I had to quickly scramble and prep the house for, and a cake to bake for little Marco to eat and smash in celebration of being one! After I picked the kids up from school, I quickly fed them and we then took off for Rocco's baseball game. Dan arrived home sometime during the game. When we got home... I think I finally had the cake frosted and decorated by 7:30pm, and by that time... poor little Marco was just exhausted and ready for bed! Who could blame him?! So... we were able to take a few photos of him with his siblings and the cake, and a few with mommy & daddy and the cake. Then, we sang H.appy Bi.rthday... he LOVED everyone singing to him! He danced and wiggled back and forth, all while having a huge smile on his face and clapping along with us at the end. It was adorable! He loved the chance to explore his cake. He first tested it with his finger... and seemed to really like the frosting. After a few finger licks... it was almost like he realized "Hmmm... this is GOOD! And, they're not stopping me from touching it!" So, he quickly took advantage of that and started patting his hands on it and laughing. Before we knew it, he was smashing both hands into the cake, while smiling and laughing. Frosting and cake were flying everywhere! This child was definitely my most brave and carefree birthday baby... he made a very big mess, he was so proud of it and had a TON of fun doing it! Absolute birthday success!
Marco's 12 Month Growth Stats:
Height: 30.5 inches (75th %ile)
Weight: 20lbs 16 oz (25th %ile)
Head: 18.8 (75-90 %ile)
Eating: Marco has become much more comfortable and courageous with solid foods since he stopped breastfeeding a little over a month ago. He will sometimes eat 2-3 adult sized yogurts in one day. Also, now that he is one we can start giving him cow's milk. He doesn't seem to like straight whole milk... but is a bit more interested if I give him a sippy cup filled with half whole milk and half chocolate milk. Making sure he gets enough calcium has been a concern of mine since he stopped nursing and would not drink formula. But, the doctor assured me that if he's eating so much yogurt - he'll be fine. Some of his favorite foods include sausage, raspberries, blueberries, bananas, bacon, raviolis, hot dogs, scrambled eggs, pizza, rice, salmon, and here's the surprise... lamb sliders! He could NOT get enough of the lamb sliders we ate the other night!
Naps: Marco is napping only once a day in his crib on most days. He's on the brink of giving up that second nap, which has both positives and negatives. Since he's sort of ready to give it up, but often still needs it... I feel less guilty on the evenings we have to drive to an activity and he falls asleep on the drive. He'll often steal an hour long nap in the car on those nights... but always has a tough time when waking up from those evening naps. Poor baby! On the plus side... when they move to one nap, you feel less tied to home for those two nap sessions. But, it also means they have much more time to be busy and active during the day and melt down a bit faster as bed time approaches. I think in a month or two he will most certainly be living with only one nap a day. He goes down for his naps so great. I grab his brown blanket and rock him in the rocking chair, while singing to him softly. His little face cuddles into my neck and he falls fast asleep. Sometimes, I'll sit there and let him sleep on me a for a while. Other times, I'll put him down in his crib a minute or two after he falls asleep. He sleeps so soundly and peacefully. Love this little man so much!
Night Sleep: Marco is sleep trained! Woot! Since he stopped nursing, it was time to properly sleep train him and it was easy to do since we had a relatively familiar nightly routine... even with the recent change of no more breastfeeding. After I put the big kids to bed, we get him in his PJ's and brush teeth. We sit in the rocking chair, with his fuzzy brown blanket, and I will sing softly to him and hold him so his head rests on my shoulder (brown blankey wrapped around his back. He usually falls asleep pretty quick... and then I lay him down in his crib. I can tell he loves this time.. and I love it too. He rarely wakes up when I lay him down in the crib, but if he does... he can put himself to sleep with minimal fussing/crying. He wakes up still between 11pm - 2 am, and then I just bring him in bed next to me and he falls asleep right away. He will wake up for the day around 6:30am. We've had an odd/random, middle-of-the night wakeup with Marco that seems to happen once every 1-3 weeks. He'll just wake up and start babbling, and doing his happy *talk*. He'll kick at me, or slap at me to try and get reaction, or get me to wake up. He'll be wide awake for at least an hour. None of my other kids ever did this, and if they ever did, it certainly didn't happen on a regular basis. I think this is the way his little brain and body are handling developmental milestones... it's almost like he's just ready to go for the day... bright and early at 3am (usually it is in the 3 o'clock hour when he'll surprise me w/this great wakeup). Thankfully, he'll usually fall back asleep after an hour or hour and a half. But wow... it is exhausting me and I can't wait until his little brain figures out a better way to held the developmental milestones and growth!
Marco Updates:
His birthday was a flurry of activity! School drop-offs and pickups for the big kids, Giuliana had gymnastics, and Dan was supposed to arrive home from a business trip that afternoon. Then, of course I had a house showing that I had to quickly scramble and prep the house for, and a cake to bake for little Marco to eat and smash in celebration of being one! After I picked the kids up from school, I quickly fed them and we then took off for Rocco's baseball game. Dan arrived home sometime during the game. When we got home... I think I finally had the cake frosted and decorated by 7:30pm, and by that time... poor little Marco was just exhausted and ready for bed! Who could blame him?! So... we were able to take a few photos of him with his siblings and the cake, and a few with mommy & daddy and the cake. Then, we sang H.appy Bi.rthday... he LOVED everyone singing to him! He danced and wiggled back and forth, all while having a huge smile on his face and clapping along with us at the end. It was adorable! He loved the chance to explore his cake. He first tested it with his finger... and seemed to really like the frosting. After a few finger licks... it was almost like he realized "Hmmm... this is GOOD! And, they're not stopping me from touching it!" So, he quickly took advantage of that and started patting his hands on it and laughing. Before we knew it, he was smashing both hands into the cake, while smiling and laughing. Frosting and cake were flying everywhere! This child was definitely my most brave and carefree birthday baby... he made a very big mess, he was so proud of it and had a TON of fun doing it! Absolute birthday success!
Marco's 12 Month Growth Stats:
Height: 30.5 inches (75th %ile)
Weight: 20lbs 16 oz (25th %ile)
Head: 18.8 (75-90 %ile)
Eating: Marco has become much more comfortable and courageous with solid foods since he stopped breastfeeding a little over a month ago. He will sometimes eat 2-3 adult sized yogurts in one day. Also, now that he is one we can start giving him cow's milk. He doesn't seem to like straight whole milk... but is a bit more interested if I give him a sippy cup filled with half whole milk and half chocolate milk. Making sure he gets enough calcium has been a concern of mine since he stopped nursing and would not drink formula. But, the doctor assured me that if he's eating so much yogurt - he'll be fine. Some of his favorite foods include sausage, raspberries, blueberries, bananas, bacon, raviolis, hot dogs, scrambled eggs, pizza, rice, salmon, and here's the surprise... lamb sliders! He could NOT get enough of the lamb sliders we ate the other night!
Naps: Marco is napping only once a day in his crib on most days. He's on the brink of giving up that second nap, which has both positives and negatives. Since he's sort of ready to give it up, but often still needs it... I feel less guilty on the evenings we have to drive to an activity and he falls asleep on the drive. He'll often steal an hour long nap in the car on those nights... but always has a tough time when waking up from those evening naps. Poor baby! On the plus side... when they move to one nap, you feel less tied to home for those two nap sessions. But, it also means they have much more time to be busy and active during the day and melt down a bit faster as bed time approaches. I think in a month or two he will most certainly be living with only one nap a day. He goes down for his naps so great. I grab his brown blanket and rock him in the rocking chair, while singing to him softly. His little face cuddles into my neck and he falls fast asleep. Sometimes, I'll sit there and let him sleep on me a for a while. Other times, I'll put him down in his crib a minute or two after he falls asleep. He sleeps so soundly and peacefully. Love this little man so much!
Night Sleep: Marco is sleep trained! Woot! Since he stopped nursing, it was time to properly sleep train him and it was easy to do since we had a relatively familiar nightly routine... even with the recent change of no more breastfeeding. After I put the big kids to bed, we get him in his PJ's and brush teeth. We sit in the rocking chair, with his fuzzy brown blanket, and I will sing softly to him and hold him so his head rests on my shoulder (brown blankey wrapped around his back. He usually falls asleep pretty quick... and then I lay him down in his crib. I can tell he loves this time.. and I love it too. He rarely wakes up when I lay him down in the crib, but if he does... he can put himself to sleep with minimal fussing/crying. He wakes up still between 11pm - 2 am, and then I just bring him in bed next to me and he falls asleep right away. He will wake up for the day around 6:30am. We've had an odd/random, middle-of-the night wakeup with Marco that seems to happen once every 1-3 weeks. He'll just wake up and start babbling, and doing his happy *talk*. He'll kick at me, or slap at me to try and get reaction, or get me to wake up. He'll be wide awake for at least an hour. None of my other kids ever did this, and if they ever did, it certainly didn't happen on a regular basis. I think this is the way his little brain and body are handling developmental milestones... it's almost like he's just ready to go for the day... bright and early at 3am (usually it is in the 3 o'clock hour when he'll surprise me w/this great wakeup). Thankfully, he'll usually fall back asleep after an hour or hour and a half. But wow... it is exhausting me and I can't wait until his little brain figures out a better way to held the developmental milestones and growth! 
Marco Updates:
* 4 teeth in his mouth now!
* Loves to wave "Hi" and "bye"... but still not saying either of those words.
* Loves to pull hair... anyone and everyone's hair is game if you let him get a grab at it.
* When he hears the gardener start up the lawn mower... he runs to the window and will watch him as long as he can stand there and see the lawn mower and the guy pushing it. If we're not near the window, he'll point and grunt for us to go over to the window to watch.
* Crazy obsession with the vacuum. He LOVES it. If I am vacuuming and stop... he will start to cry SO hard. But, the second you turn the vacuum on again, he walks around you happily with a big smile on his face... perfectly content just watching every move you make with that vacuum. I have a very funny video of this... I need to post it!
* He loves toys he can push... like Giuliana's baby stroller, the kid's grocery cart, the ride on car (he prefers to push it and not ride on it so much).
* Loves feeding Dan and I. He will always want to sit on my lap while I am eating, and I can rarely keep him from grabbing food off my plate and stuffing it in my mouth. It is hilarious, but so annoying at the same time because I can't just sit there and eat without food being jammed against my lips and subsequently making a mess all over the floor.
* He LOVEs going on wagon rides... he is fascinated by everything outdoors right now and is so curious about the outdoor world. He loves putting his hands in the dirt and grass. He loves seeing bunnies and deer and birds and dogs. He gets SO excited when he sees an animal and will point and scream... which of course scares off the wild animals.
* He loves being outside so much in fact that he will often bring his shoes to us, and that is his way of telling us it's time to go outside and explore.
* He has been given the opportunity to color on numerous occasions (thanks to the ever present basket of markers and color crayons on the table)... and he LOVES it. He will climb up onto the kitchen chairs and color any of the papers that are sitting on the table, or the table itself. He has also colored the floors. Thank goodness for washable markers!
* He is fascinated by Rocco and all of Rocco's toys... especially the swords, guns, cars and transformers. He also tries to mimic humming the Trans.formers theme song that Rocco is always humming as he plays.
* He and Giuliana have a special little bond. And, he is constantly pulling her hair which really gets her upset. I find them stealing toys from each other on occasion... and other times, you'll find them snuggled up to each other on the sofa under a blanket. And, Giuliana will also baby him from time to time and put blankets over him or bring him his milk.
*He loves to play catch. He gets really excited whenever he sees a ball and will run over to it, pick it up with a big smile on his face, and quickly find someone to throw it to. Then he patiently waits for someone to throw it back.
* Loves to wave "Hi" and "bye"... but still not saying either of those words.
* Loves to pull hair... anyone and everyone's hair is game if you let him get a grab at it.
* When he hears the gardener start up the lawn mower... he runs to the window and will watch him as long as he can stand there and see the lawn mower and the guy pushing it. If we're not near the window, he'll point and grunt for us to go over to the window to watch.
* Crazy obsession with the vacuum. He LOVES it. If I am vacuuming and stop... he will start to cry SO hard. But, the second you turn the vacuum on again, he walks around you happily with a big smile on his face... perfectly content just watching every move you make with that vacuum. I have a very funny video of this... I need to post it!
* He loves toys he can push... like Giuliana's baby stroller, the kid's grocery cart, the ride on car (he prefers to push it and not ride on it so much).
* Loves feeding Dan and I. He will always want to sit on my lap while I am eating, and I can rarely keep him from grabbing food off my plate and stuffing it in my mouth. It is hilarious, but so annoying at the same time because I can't just sit there and eat without food being jammed against my lips and subsequently making a mess all over the floor.
* He LOVEs going on wagon rides... he is fascinated by everything outdoors right now and is so curious about the outdoor world. He loves putting his hands in the dirt and grass. He loves seeing bunnies and deer and birds and dogs. He gets SO excited when he sees an animal and will point and scream... which of course scares off the wild animals.
* He loves being outside so much in fact that he will often bring his shoes to us, and that is his way of telling us it's time to go outside and explore. * He has been given the opportunity to color on numerous occasions (thanks to the ever present basket of markers and color crayons on the table)... and he LOVES it. He will climb up onto the kitchen chairs and color any of the papers that are sitting on the table, or the table itself. He has also colored the floors. Thank goodness for washable markers!
* He is fascinated by Rocco and all of Rocco's toys... especially the swords, guns, cars and transformers. He also tries to mimic humming the Trans.formers theme song that Rocco is always humming as he plays.
* He and Giuliana have a special little bond. And, he is constantly pulling her hair which really gets her upset. I find them stealing toys from each other on occasion... and other times, you'll find them snuggled up to each other on the sofa under a blanket. And, Giuliana will also baby him from time to time and put blankets over him or bring him his milk.
*He loves to play catch. He gets really excited whenever he sees a ball and will run over to it, pick it up with a big smile on his face, and quickly find someone to throw it to. Then he patiently waits for someone to throw it back.
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