HaLlOwEeN 2009!

Halloween was a bit difficult for us this year, for all the obvious reasons. We missed Matteo more than words could ever explain. He was constantly in our thoughts. But, we were able to share in the excitement of the day through Gabby and Rocco's eyes... and for that, we were thankful.

Leading up to Halloween, Gabby kept telling us that she wanted to be Beauty/Princess Belle and she wanted Rocco to be the Beast. I couldn't possibly tell you how many times a day Gabby sings the theme song to "Beauty and the Beast". And now, if you ask Gabby what we should name baby Surprisette, she'll say "Belle". And, if we tell her "Or... how about XXX?", she'll start crying.

Oh Disney... you own us!

I still can't believe it, but I was unable to find a Beast costume for Rocco. I searched high & low... but nothing! So, Rocco ended up being Curious George which was perfect because it allowed Dan to once again be The Man in the Yellow Hat.

And, I can only imagine little Matteo would have been Diego. He LOVED Diego!

On Friday night we hosted a pumpkin carving, spooky potluck party and invited a few neighbors and friends over to join us. We carved some pumpkins, ate LOTS of yummy food, and celebrated Dan's birthday. All the while... missing our little Matt. Oddly enough, someone took a picture of Dan, me, Gabby & Rocco with Dan's cake... and Matt's photo is there in the background over my shoulder.

I think the most difficult part of the Halloween holiday was taking photos of the kids in their costumes without Matteo. Seeing the three of them, dressed up together last year was priceless. Those are some of my favorite photos of the three kiddos together... maybe because of the memories attached.

It also tore my heart out to watch Rocco & Gabby trick or treating. Rocco was loving it and saying "Tick or Teat!" I couldn't help but envision Matteo right there with them, picturing exactly what he would have been doing, where he would have been standing amongst the three of them, etc. But, all the while, I knew with every ounce of my heart that he SO WASN'T THERE. That hurt. And, I of course cried when Dan took the kids down the street, while I stayed behind to hand out candy.

Each time little kids would come to our door with their parents, I couldn't help but think how lucky each of those kids were to be celebrating the excitement and fun of Halloween night. And, how lucky their parents were to be able to watch them take part in this holiday. Especially knowing this would have been Matt's first true experience trick or treating (he wasn't yet walking last year). It would have been music to my ears to hear sweet little Matt saying "Trick or Treat!" with Gabby and Rocco. It would have been BEYOND cute to watch Dan have to open a new piece of candy for both Rocco & Matteo after each house. And, it would have been the sweetest thing to see both Matt and Rocco following behind Dan and Gabby because they were so busy concentrating on eating their candy. Instead... just little Rocco trailed behind.

The kids truly enjoyed the Halloween holiday. Gabby did have a little meltdown at some point that day. She broke down crying and said that she "just really missed Matatoe." Bless her little heart. She was fine then once she got that out. And, she certainly made for a beautiful Belle! And, Rocco might just have been the cutest little monkey ever.