Happy 2nd Birthday Rocco & Angel Matteo!

We celebrated the day Rocco and Matteo were born last weekend. Only, Matteo was not here with us… he’s in Heaven. And, our plans for the day changed in a very significant way.

Usually you look forward to your children’s birthday parties. But, when your child dies young… his birthday is a huge hurdle. It numbs you. It stabs you in the heart. And, it is another painful reminder of the little person you miss so much, everything he’s missing out on in life, and that your heart will never recover the loss.

And, when you are the parents of a child whose twin brother died six months earlier… you can’t help but feel compelled to give him the world, love him even more and still make sure his birthday is beyond special and memorable for him. You feel so bad that he no longer has his twin to share “their” special day together. But, you still want him to feel like it’s a day of celebration… and that while it’s ok to be sad, that their birthday was and always will be a very special day to us. Two years ago... that day was filled with so much anticipation and joy. It was one of the happiest days of our life. And, that’s how we will always remember it.

So, we planned a party for Rocco. We invited a handful of little people who have been buddies with him and Matteo over the past two years. We ordered a Thomas the Train Cake for him and a small ice cream cake for our Angel Matt. We ordered two dozen balloons. One dozen for Rocco - because he is a balloon freak! And one dozen for Matteo so we could have each child at the party release a balloon at the party to Matt up in Heaven.

We spent an afternoon a full evening cooking and prepping for the birthday party. I was exhausted, VERY pregnant, and full of emotions. So, I decided to have my nightly talk with Matt and tell him everything I was feeling. I cried and told him I really needed another sign from him that he was still with us and I especially wanted to know somehow that he would be a part of our day on his second birthday.

On birthday morning, Matteo gave us the strongest of signs and sent us a very special delivery… straight from Heaven. The delivery was special enough to change our entire course of plans for the day.

But – we DID celebrate Rocco and Matt’s birthday. Not with the party we had planned… unfortunately, that had to be postponed. But, we celebrated as a family.

We sang Happy Birthday and blew out candles on Matteo’s ice cream cake 3 times. Yes – THREE times. Gabby blew them out the first time. Rocco blew the candles out the second time… and then he had to do it again for good measure. OR perhaps, he blew them out a second time for his twin brother up in Heaven.

Rocco and Gabby opened presents, ate lots of cake for breakfast and also had some of the special birthday cookie bouquet that two of my dear friends sent us (so cute!). It made for a fun, spontaneous birthday morning. And, he didn’t really realize his birthday party had been postponed.

His favorite gifts from the family were his new "Cars" bike with training wheels and his Home Depot tool workbench and tools.

Mommy and daddy can’t wait to throw him his REAL birthday party and have him blow out the candles on his Thomas the Train cake (we had to cancel the cake order the morning of his birthday!).

Rocco is such a wonderful, funny and strong kid! We absolutely love and adore him beyond words. He is all boy… curious, strong, athletic, funny, and full of adventure. But, he’s got this soft side that melts his mommy’s heart. He’s a great snuggler, begs with “Pllllleeeeeeeaassssseeee momma!”, and is constantly making us laugh.

Rocco has also grown a TON in the past 6 months. His official 2 year stats from the doctor's office are:

Height: 35 5/8 inches (80th %ile)

Weight: 31 lbs (75th %ile)

While this second birthday was a very difficult day… we do hold beautiful memories in our heart from Rocco and Matteo’s first birthday.

Dear Angle Matteo: I hope they had a special cake and lots of balloons up in Heaven for you today. I hope you got to open lots of presents. I hope you had a huge smile on your face all day and laughed a LOT. I hope you ate lots of cake for breakfast like we did, and that you played with all of your new little angel friends. I hope you felt our love and know that we thought about you all day, as we do every day.