Heaven sent...

The night before Rocco & Matteo's second birthday, I had a little talk with Matt as I do every night. I knew the next day was going to be difficult. I knew that as much as I wanted to celebrate and have fun with Rocco on his second birthday, that it would be painfully obvious Matteo was not with us. And, he should have been... and that hurts bad. Every child should be able to blow out candles on their 2nd birthday cake and he wasn't going to be able to do that... ever.












Anyway, I told Matt that his mommy REALLY needed a sign that he's still here with us. And I asked him to prove to us in some way or another that he would be with us on his second birthday.

As it turns out, Matteo decided to give us a very strong sign that he is truly still with us. Heaven sent us a VERY special, 8lb 10oz, 20.5 inch delivery... Giuliana Bella Faith Martino.

Giuliana is perfect in every possible way and we could not be more thrilled to finally hold her in our arms, hug her and love her. She has long, jet black hair... almost an inch long in places. Her fingers and toes are long and lady-like. And her skin has a beautiful color to it.

Giuliana's arrival certainly changed the plans on Rocco's big day!

I woke up Sunday morning around 4am... not able to sleep. I didn't think anything of it since I woke up on Saturday at the same time and could not go back to sleep. Usually when this happens, I just lay in bed thinking about Matteo until Rocco wakes up.

Around 5am, I started cramping and I decided to wake Dan up around 6am to tell him that Surprisabella was on her way. Dan got up, ready and asked when we were leaving for the hospital... all within 15 minutes. I looked at him and said "We can't leave yet! We have to sing Happy Birthday to Rocco... and have cake... and open his presents!" I think Dan thought I was a little crazy, but he went along with it.

We had made 3 big breakfast casseroles the night before for Rocco's 10:30am birthday party... and I decided we might as well put them in the oven. They'd certainly get eaten this week! Then, I packed a bag for the hospital, cleaned up the kitchen and our bedroom a bit, put toys away, and sent a note to our birthday party friends telling them Rocco's party would be postponed due to Surprisabella. When Gabby woke up we told her about the change in plans for the day and she was ecstatic and so excited to soon get to meet her baby sister, but she too felt bad for Rocco that his party was being delayed. So we sang happy birthday to Rocco, opened presents, and ate cake and egg bake for breakfast.

Somewhere in there, Dan had the car running for a half hour. Not because it was cold outside, but because he kept thinking we were on the verge of leaving. Apparently, I kept delaying our departure. Finally, he turned it off and looked at me like I was crazy. The contractions eventually got more painful and close (every 6-7 mins apart), so I said goodbye to the kiddos and my mom.

We were checked into our room at 12noon. Time was passed managing my contractions and sharing our story with the nurses and doctors. Dan would tell them how this baby would share a birthday with her older twin brothers, and that talk would of course lead to how Matteo had died just a short 6 months earlier, 5 days shy of 18 months. As we approached 3pm, the contractions were getting more painful. And, at 3:30pm, I finally decided to get my epidural. I was dilated to 6 and we expected the baby to come in a few hours.

Shortly after getting the epidural, I felt like it wasn’t working. The pain was still really bad. A few minutes later, my nurse left the room to find the anesthesiologist to help troubleshoot my epidural. Two minutes later, I felt extreme pain. I started crying and told Dan I thought the baby was coming. The pain was so immense, but I felt like I needed to push. I told him to run out and grab someone. Dan ran into the hall and yelled “the baby’s coming!”. Three seconds later, the room was flooded with nurses and doctors. Sure enough, I had dilated to 10 in record speed. While they were preparing, they asked me not to push yet, but I couldn’t help it – I was pushing. The baby’s head was coming out. Just as the baby’s head popped out the anesthesiologist was able to give me more of the epidural drug and I could feel it shoot through my left leg making it extremely numb (stayed numb for almost 3 days!). Surpriseabella came out at 4:15pm in just 4 pushes. The second she came out – I cried. She was beautiful. Absolutely perfect. She even had a bright red birthmark on her right hand that looked like a kiss. We are sure Matteo kissed her before she entered our world.

To say the day was an emotional roller coaster is an understatement. To think that two years ago that same day, we welcomed our beautiful twin baby boys into the world. And exactly two years later we're back in L&D bringing another little surprise life into the world... only, as parents who had experienced the worst possible parenting nightmare and whose hearts would forever be broken beyond repair.

I cried a lot that day. Our story made the nurses and doctors tear up. And, I felt bad for Dan because he just tried to stay strong for me.

Our sweet little Giuliana was an absolute gift on this emotional day. She was truly Heaven sent... and the most precious of signs we could have received from Matt.

Gabby has had her mommy hat on since the moment we arrived home and constantly wants to hold Giuliana, touch her and change her outfits. Rocco looks at Giuliana with wonder, touches her tenderly and gets a big smile and says "Loooook, baby!" or "Drinky booby!" (lovely, I know!) each time he sees her... just depends on what he sees her doing.

We truly adore our little Giuliana, love her more than words could ever explain, and are completely focused on taking in all of life's precious moments with these beautiful children.