10 Years of Togetherness

Dan and I have now been married for 10 years. Ten years that have been both short and long. Ten years that have been filled with the best moments of my life, and our greatest achievements in life. Ten years that have been somewhat tainted by the most horrific tragedy I can imagine any one person, or any couple ever having to experience… that being the loss of a child. Sometimes, I wonder where the past 4 years went. Sometimes I wish we could completely rewind. We’ve been through the best and worst as a couple… and here we are ten years later. Still together. Still in love with each other.

So, how does one celebrate a 10 year anniversary? Well... you should go ask someone who has celebrated it! Because we certainly didn't. For multiple reasons. Don't get me wrong - we both had dreams of taking a trip to Italy to visit some sites, eat good food & drink yummy vino. Or... maybe just taking a trip down the coast and hitting a beach in Mexico for a few days.

But, with a newborn who's breastfeeding, and nobody who can take care of our other 3 kids overnight... the dreamy celebration is just that. A dream. I guess it will have to wait. I’d like to say I’m completely fine with that. But, I’m not. I’d LOVE to have two nights away with JUST my husband. We have not had one child-free vacation in almost 7 years. That’s just ridiculous. Right?! I think even one night away would be so healthy and good for us.

Instead, on our ten year anniversary, I talked to my husband more via text message and voicemail. This was actually the case that entire week because our au pair was on vacation. I worked all week and Dan had the week off (technically, but he still worked a quite a bit too). Poor Dan though... his days off were filled with helping watch the baby while I worked, running errands, grocery shopping and then our taxi service for all of the following quite literally consumed him:
· Gabby to and from swim & tennis camp every day from 9-5

· Rocco to and from school 3 days

· Gabby to and from gymnastics Mon & Fri nights

· Rocco to and from gymnastics Tues & Thurs nights

· Giuliana's parent/tot gymnastics class on Monday morning

It was just an absolutely nutty week… and perhaps that’s a good thing. Our anniversary week is also the 4^th of July holiday week, and the week that Matteo died. So, instead of being excited about and looking forward to our anniversary… the approaching date makes me want to vomit and I find myself being irritated/upset for most of the week. Matteo’s death is so much bigger and life-changing and emotional than any silly holiday or anniversary. So even though I would like to have celebrated the big TEN… I’m not sure my heart would have been there.

So, I think we ate take-out food with the kids, dealt with multiple tantrums and a fussy baby. By 10 o'clock, Dan was asleep on the sofa and I was cleaning bathrooms. Doesn't that sound exciting and glamorous?!

Dan is an amazing guy. He’s kind, he’s got a big heart, he’s handsome, he’s so understanding and forgiving. He’s the best daddy and playmate to our children… and he truly enjoys them and loves them so much. I know for a fact I surely am not the easiest person to be married to… so perhaps Dan even wears a bit of the *saint-hood hat*.

I know I love Dan with my whole heart. And, I know he loves me. Hopefully someday soon, we’ll get to celebrate our 10 year anniversary. (And, yes, I totally realize at the rate we’re going… this might not actually happen for another 10 years!)