Marco's Nursing Strike & The End of Breastfeeding

Have you ever heard of a *nursing strike*? As in, a breastfeeding nursing strike?

I have breastfed 5 babies, and had never heard of a nursing strike until recently, when my fifth child, Marco, decided to go on a nursing strike, six weeks shy of his first birthday.

Had this not been my fifth child, and had he not been so close to one year of age… this could have been very traumatizing. And, I’m sure there are so many women who have had a completely traumatizing experience when their infant starts a nursing strike, and my heart goes out to all of you.
Marco recently had R.oseola. In the first 24 hours of coming down with the fever, he went from nursing 10-12 times a day to not nursing at all. Not once! It was such a frustrating (and painful!) experience.

Prior to this illness, breastfeeding had not only been his main food source, but it was also his preferred method of being soothed, since birth. As any breastfeeding mom knows… breastfeeding wasn’t just a bonding experience, but it was my secret weapon to make him happy and calm him no matter what the situation.

Well… twenty-four hours into Marco having R.oseola and starting this nursing strike, I had to dig the breast pump equipment out of the garage because my breasts had become so engorged. I was also getting a little stressed because my motherly instinct wanted to help and soothe him while he was sick by nursing him, but he would get angry and cry harder and push away. It just wasn’t making sense to me and was so frustrating. I was also SO busy with a sick baby and three other kids (Dan was away on biz travel), that I didn’t have ten minutes to stop and try pumping that day to take care of my own body’s needs. So, I sent quick note to the Le L.eche League:

“Question regarding refusal to nurse at 10.5 mnths of age: My little guy is a good nursing baby. Brought him to doctor yesterday, thinking he might have ear infection because he didn't want to nurse right away yesterday morning like usual. Did not have ear infection - but fluid in ears, yes. Last night, I nursed him around 8:30pm before putting him down (like normal), and then he woke up at 11:20pm w/low-grade fever. I spent the entire night holding him, and trying to console him, all the while he refused to nurse. He finally fell asleep around 5am, and slept for 2 hours. When he woke up, still refusing to nurse. Brought him to MD first thing today since still presenting fever, still no ear infection. MD thinks just a virus. He's NEVER refused nursing. Matter-of-fact, it's usually a source of soothing for him when teething, upset or sick. He has now not nursed for 21 hours and he does not take a bottle either. He is drinking water and eating now. But, I don't understand why he's not nursing. Can you help me troubleshoot? Have you heard of similar experiences w/other nursing moms/babies his age? He's my 5th child, all of which have been breastfed babies and this is a new experience for me. Wondering if he is suddenly done w/nursing? I pumped this morning and noticed that my breastmilk is not very fatty at all. Could my milk be bad or not likable to him anymore?? Any help you or any of your fans can provide would be GREAT!”

They truly are such a great organization, and they quickly responded with:
“This is a nursing strike and one of the most stressful things a mama and baby can go through. They do sometimes happen with an illness. I'll give you some broad suggestions, but if you want specific support, I'd encourage you to call a leader for (free!) help. First, keep your milk moving. Human milk isn't very fatty. That's by design and totally normal. If you have access to a pump, pump as often as your nursling would typically nurse. You can offer milk in a sippy or straw cup. One thing to remember is baby's that don't nurse typically can't. This is just as frustrating for baby as it is for you. Try and offer the breast as Often as you can. Keep it low stress.”

In addition, they suggested taking a bath with the baby, and provided me with two local contacts to reach out to.  

I unfortunately didn’t have the option to take a bath with Marco because I didn’t have another adult here to manage the rest of the crew. I don’t know if he would have even done that anyway, he just wanted to be held and snuggled because he was so ill. And, by the time I tried to pump (24 hours later), I was so engorged it was basically unsuccessful. My boobs hurt so bad at this point that it hurt to even hold Marco against my chest.

I continued to offer Marco the boob through a second sleepless night, only to frustrate him and myself more. Dan finally arrived home almost 40 hours after Marco last nursed. I told him not to come home unless he walked in the door with cabbage. He arrived home around 2pm and once we were able to get Marco’s fever down again, I tried almost every trick in the book to get the milk moving out of me… a hot shower and massage, hand expression, and finally the pump. I STILL was not having much luck and was basically now in more pain (because of the massaging), and felt like there were bruises all over my chest. The pump did help a tiny bit though, so I didn’t go as far as trying the old *cabbage leaves on the boobs* trick to release the milk. But, I have to admit I was so desperate at one point that I almost wanted to volunteer to nurse another mother's child. I just needed a baby to suck on the boobs! AGH!!

Looking back, it’s almost comical that THIS is the way my last breastfeeding experience had to end. I guess I’ve been lucky to not have any problems breastfeeding until now… why not end with a bang, right?! Jeesh!

Eventually, I was able to pump/massage the milk out and get to a point of comfort. It was a painful, time-consuming experience that I wouldn’t wish upon anyone.

I shared my story/drama with a few mommy friends, and a couple told me that they too had experienced this *nursing strike* business. One little boy didn’t nurse for two days at 7 months old, and then he took to it again and has continued. Another friend’s little girl went on a nursing strike for two weeks at 9 months of age… the mom continued to pump, and then one morning while the baby was half-sleeping, she offered the breast and the baby started nursing regularly again until her mommy weaned her close to 14 months of age.

Hearing those stories made me think Marco *might* start nursing again, and to maybe not give up so easily. But, when he continued to not want anything to do with the boob after his fever was gone (five days later), it was clear to me he had decided he was finished. And, mentally, I was done.

Marco wasn’t nursing. He wasn’t even drinking any of the pumped milk – and I couldn’t blame him! It looked awful to me. It wasn’t the nice yellow color that *good* breast milk normally has. It almost had a blue tint to it, and there was barely a layer of fat on top.

I wasn’t about to try pushing the breastfeeding agenda on an almost 11 month old. Nor was I about to begin pumping consistently, on a regular basis at this stage of the game if he wasn’t interested in the milk.

Here we are 2.5 weeks later. I am down to pumping once every other day, and my last EVER pump will probably be tomorrow. I have tried offering Marco breast milk numerous times – he doesn’t want it. I have tried offering him formula numerous times, to which he still gauges and does not want a drop. The pediatrician tells me he shouldn’t have cow’s milk until he is 1 year old.

Now, you are probably asking “How is he getting the calcium he needs?”

Well, he eats at least 4 adult sized vanilla yogurts every single day. And, he has been eating massive amounts of anything and everything I offer him lately. It’s insane! While he was breastfeeding – he was still not super-interested in table foods. He was eating baby foods more frequently, but still loved to nurse whenever he wanted. Now, he is like a little wolf, and willing to try eating whatever is presented to him! He eats cous cous, rice, peas, green beans, avocado, strawberries, raspberries, chicken, turkey, ham, potatoes, French fries, mac & cheese, raviolis, tortellinis, waffles, pancakes, buttered toast, yogurt…and those are just his favorites. I’m so proud of him… it’s like he just took a leap of faith into the world of food!

And here’s the kicker – he is now either sleeping through the night or only waking up once during the night since quitting breast feeding! When he was breastfeeding, he was still nursing throughout the night… probably 2-5 times a night, which resulted in me never getting a good night’s sleep. It’s as if his little tummy is finally so happy to have lots of filling, fatty foods in it… and he can sleep for longer periods of time because of it! YAY!!

I guess I had envisioned a grand ending to my breastfeeding experience with Marco… especially since he is our last child. When he went on the nursing strike, I have to admit that the “Oh my gosh… I’m not going to have that last moment with him… with any baby again… EVER!” But, that seemed to pass quickly. Or, perhaps I just didn’t dwell on it because I was so glad when he finally finished the Ro.seola virus and was healthy again.

I think it was a WIN-WIN for both of us. He seems happier. He is sleeping better. He’s eating everything and truly loving food. And, I am sleeping better. I am enjoying my new-found freedom of not having to be constantly attached to a baby who needed to breastfeed every 3 hours. And, I am having so much fun introducing him to so many new foods.

It is truly the end of an era for me... no more breastfeeding babies! The boobies are done! (and now they look like they need to GET done! ha!)