Bleep!

Yesterday, Rocco was out riding bikes with Gabby and Maria, our au pair. When he was finished he was trying to take his helmet off. He was having a really hard time trying to unclip it and started getting really frustrated. Well... add this to an already frustrating day of waking up early, not getting to eat candy before lunch, your big sister teasing you, and your little sister wanting everything you're holding... and this pretty much equals a really bad day in the life of a 3 year old. After trying and trying to get his helmet unclipped, he finally yelled "I CAN'T GET THIS F*CKING THING OFF MY HEAD!"

Obviously, I don't want my kids swearing. Who wants their child to have potty mouth?! Not me! But, when they shock you with something like this, it is SO FUNNY that we were a pile of hysterics. We were shocked! Once you compose yourself, you're able to put your mommy hat on, slap on your serious (but understanding) face, and have the talk about *words that don't make you sound nice* and all the other words available to express your anger.

That's the first time I've ever heard Rocco say that word. Last year, he had a little run with the word "dammit". Probably due to the fact that daddy had lots of random house projects and seemed to favor that word when something went wrong or when he'd hurt himself. Well, it didn't take long before Rocco understood appropriate uses for the word. Next thing you know, Rocco would break something and say "dammit!" or he'd bump his head and say "dammit!". Needless to say, this was quickly put to rest.

The only memory I have of Gabby saying a swear word was from when she was 2yrs old:
Me: (just getting home from grocery store) Hi Gabby! Where are daddy and the twins?
Gabby: They are upstairs.
Me: What are they doing?
Gabby: The babies are sleeping.
Me: Well, where is daddy?
Gabby: Daddy is mad because he got throwed up on.
Me: He did? Uh oh... that's not good. What did daddy do when he got *throwed up on*?
Gabby: He said "goddammit"

I guess I was expecting her to tell me he wiped up the puke or whatever. So, this still makes me laugh because she said it so matter-of-fact, like nothing else happened.

Fashionista!

Gabby is always putting together very... well... umm... interesting outfits.

Sometimes... they look pretty cool. And, sometimes I try to gently add a little advice or make suggestions.

There are times she walks down the stairs buried in a layers of stuff from both her closet and mine and I think to myself "wow... that actually looks really hip and trendy. I wish I could put together an outfit like that and get away with wearing it!"

A year ago, I felt compelled at times to assure people that she did in fact dress herself, becuase the outfits were VERY creative. While I still think she is very creative, the stuff she puts together now more often than not actually looks pretty hip and cool.

She now often asks me "Mommy, were you born to work at a Children's Hospital?". And, I'll say, "well... I don't think I was BORN to work at a children's hospital... but I really LOVE working for a children's hospital". Then she goes on to say "Well I think I was born to work with clothes and dress people." So, then I try and think of and tell her about the many job options available to people who like clothes.

At age 5, Gabby insists she would like to be a stylist some day. I imagine this will evolve into many other hopes and dreams throughout the years. But, I love that at age 5, she knows what she enjoys and is passionate about... and is aware of how some people do this for work and she could someday too.

Future stylist to the stars? I don't know. But, definitely my stylist! This girl has WAY more style sense than I ever had or have! :))

Love this photo of Rox & Dan...

"F.ancy Nancy" and "P.eter and the W.olf" ballets

While my mom was visiting, we took the big kids to see two children's ballet's that were combined into one big show.... "P.eter and the Wolf" was first, and then "F.ancy Nancy" followed the intermission.

Gabby was SO EXCITED to go see this ballet for several reasons. She has been taking ballet and tap since January, so she was very interested in seeing a live performance. Secondly, she LOVES seeing shows of any type, whether it be a play, a dance show, or a movie in a big theater. This girl loves a reason to dress up and get fancy! Which leads me to the third reason she was excited about this... F.ANCY NANCY. She loves the "F.ancy Nancy" book series, and the illustrator of everything F.ancy Nancy just so happened to be here promoting the new book. So, not only did Gabby get a personalized autograph, but she got a photo taken with the illustrator.

This was Rocco's first experience with seeing a live performance in a theater. I was somewhat prepared to take him outside half-way through the performance (thinking he would get bored at some point). But, he really enjoyed the show too! Thank goodness they did the "P.eter and Wolf" ballet first though because it was definitely the more interesting story and Rocco was captivated. I could tell he wasn't as interested in "F.ancy Nancy", and I'll admit... I liked the "P.eter and the Wolf" ballet story better too.

It was a great show to go see with my mom & the big kids! Sorry for the bad photos... I took them w/my i.Phone.

Gammy Visited Us!

We had a lot of fun when Gammy visited us at the end of February. The kids were so excited to see Gammy and show her their new home (mostly their new bedrooms and the forest).

We took Gammy to see the S.pace N.eedle, and the children's ballets "Peter and the Wolf" and "Fancy Nancy" (which also included a book signing by the Fancy Nancy Illustrator). We went out to eat a number of times, we went on walks, we did a lot of talking, and we made lots of yummy home-cooked meals too. Gammy got to see how busy the kids are these days (I think my kids are her craziest grand children... just so energetic and active!). It snowed while Gammy was here (maybe 2-3 inches), so she was able to see our winter wonderland and watch the kids play in the snow on the ground. Gammy also got to see where Gabby goes to school. And, she also got to watch Gabby in dance and gymnastics class. Gammy spent lots of time playing with the kids and reading them books. She also spent lots of time helping our au pair, Maria, keep the kids entertained while I was working.

Yes, I am working again! I started doing contract work again for Packard Children's Hospital back in November. I was so happy to be reconnected with my "work family"! I basically took back a lot of the publication work that I had managed for the past 5 years. It truly has allowed me to balance out my personal needs. Being a mommy is my TOP priority! But, I also love having a "professional" outlet and a flexible job that allows me to work from home. March kept me busier than I would like to be on a regular basis (I took on an additional project resulting in full-time hours). But, it's great interacting with my old coworkers again on a regular basis - love them!

We sure do love having Gammy visit! Next time, Papa will have to visit too though... because Rocco kept asking... "Where's Papa?"

Ears Pierced!

She did it! As of February 17th, Gabby has been sleeping in her own bed throughout the night, every night. No more sneaking into mommy & daddy's bed in the middle of the night! YAY!

*Getting your ears pierced* has officially earned honors in the Martino family's book of bribery.

In order for Gabby to get her ears pierced... she had to sleep in her own bed, every night, throughout the night, for 7 nights in a row. Then, we told her she could also earn a new pair of earrings for each additional 7 consecutive nights of sleeping in her bed throughout the entire night (for continued motivation!). We've had a few hiccups along the way... but for the most part, we no longer get a visitor in the middle of the night.














Gabby was so brave on ear-piercing day! They told us in advance that they could only do one ear at a time. So, I had to tell Gabby it was going to hurt, but not any worse than getting a shot at the doctor. She wanted earrings SO BAD that she still wanted to do it. She was all smiles and giggles as they were prepping her ears. She was nervous, but very excited! The first piercing was followed by a very red face, a quick cry, tears dripping and her brave face holding back from full-on sobbing. I told her we didn't have to do the second ear... that she could change her mind. But, she was determined. So, they quickly did the second piercing and then she jumped into my arms and got her little cry out. Not even a minute later, she was full of big smiles and giggles while looking at herself in the mirror.

She now has a cute little pair of cubic zirconium studs in her ears. And, she looks absolutely DARLING with her ears pierced. Oh... and what made the day extra special? Gammy was here visiting and joined us for this special occasion. This meant a lot to Gabby and she'll always remember it.

Playing Restaurant

Lately, the kids have been playing a lot of restaurant. So far, Elm.o & his close relatives seem to be their best customers. Gabby likes to be the waitress, the hostess, and the restaurant manager. Giuliana even gets in on the act and tries to feed El.mo with a fork and spoon as she carries a plate or bowl around with her. Rocco seems to do whatever Gabby tells him too nicely for a while. And then he gets annoyed with being told what to do so he rebels by throwing E.lmo and his friends out of the restaurant and clearing the table in one big sweep of his arm. Good times, as always. :))

Favorites...

My two favorite recent photos of Giuliana...

Feeding daddy...

Someone little really likes to feed her daddy! Actually, she'll feed anyone who will allow it...but it seems to mostly be her daddy. On this particular occasion (back in January!), she was feeding daddy a yummy ice cream sandwich. It was so cute I had to snap a few photos.

Pre-Birthday Cake Practice Session

Giuliana had a little practice pre-birthday... we let her rip into a cupcake the night before her birthday. She really enjoyed it, as you can see.

Valentine's Day 2011

Dan & I are not huge Valentine's Day people... but it's definitely a fun holiday for the kids!

All of my kids rotated through a nasty cold virus the week before. Gabby was the sickest... up coughing throughout the night for multiple nights, followed by a sore throat, then the body aches and chills. Luckily, she recovered over the weekend so she could go to school and participate in the Valentine's Day party.

Gabby worked so hard and spent a lot of time making Rapunzel valentines for approx 22 classmates, 3 fun friends from gymnastics, and then she mailed some valentines to other friends as well as Gammy and Papa. I would have felt so bad for her if she had to miss the party at school!

The Valentine envelopes they made at school were super cute - huge heart envelopes, sewn together with yarn (see photo @ top of Gabby w/Rocco & our au pair, Maria). Gabby came home with the envelope filled and lots of little Valentine treats.

Rocco thought Gabby's envelope was a treasure chest and he was very quick to help her eat the candy! I'm sure this will be one of his favorite school parties next year. Rocco also made a few Spiderman valentines for Gammy & Papa.

Maria and I made some yummy Valentine cupcakes with Rocco and Giuliana. That was pretty much the extent of my Valentine's Day excitement!

Happy Birthday, Matteo.

Oh Matteo…where are you? You just missed your third birthday, your brother’s third birthday, and Giuliana’s first birthday. On a day that’s supposed to be so happy, fun and magical for three little people…part of me would have rather crawled into a hole. Sometimes it’s so hard to put on my happy face. But, we did… for Rocco and Giuliana, and also for Gabby.

My mind puts together an image of you at three that is handsome beyond words. Big brown eyes, sun-kissed skin, a longer and leaner body, your golden curls trimmed – but still wild, lips that are still perfectly plump, and a smile that could melt any mother’s heart. I picture you being the closest to Giuliana as you were so observant and interested in babies in the weeks preceding your death. You would still be the sweetest, gentlest little man I know… and such a great brother. I envision you still being the best kid in the room, and the one that would cuddle mommy for hours. I imagine you loving our new house and yard, wrestling with your daddy and brother, and playing catch with Rocco. I imagine you and Gabby playing make believe so nicely together… her telling you what to do and you just doing it so she lets you play with her. I know exactly where the bunk bed would have been placed in Rocco’s room.

I miss hearing your deep raspy voice. I miss playing with your hair. I miss holding your feet and hands when we’d snuggle on the sofa. I feel like I can still feel so much of you.

It’s amazing actually how a mommy can’t forget these things… the voice, the feel of her child’s skin, hair, and size of his hands, feet, face or how tall you stood.

So much you should be doing here with us. So many things you are missing.

Every night before bed, Gabby wishes and prays for you to come back to life. This was also her wish before she blew the candles out on her cake this year and last. If only wishes could come true…

Do you hear Rocco say goodnight to you every night before bed? Are you the one protecting him from all the mischief he gets into?

Have you seen your beautiful baby sister? Did you meet her before we did? Isn’t she just hilarious? She is a LOT like you, Matteo. She is as sweet as the bees knees…but she’s got the feisty side to her just like you did.

Do you sit on the moon at night? Are you a star in the sky? Do you sit on our shoulders throughout the day? Are you with us constantly? Do you make the stars twinkle for us at night? Because I tell the kids this is what you do all of this…

Do you listen to me when I talk to you before I go to sleep each night? Do you help me watch over the kids at night while they’re sleeping?

Is Heaven as beautiful as they say it is? Gabby now often asks what you’re doing up in Heaven. She thinks it’s really neat that you get to have ice cream whenever you want, that you don’t have to go to bed at any certain time and that you can bounce on the clouds. But, she quickly reminds me how much she wishes you were still here with us instead of in Heaven.

We went out to dinner the night before your birthday. After dinner, ice cream sundaes were delivered to our table for Rocco and Giuliana. As I was telling Rocco to not eat the candle on his birthday sundae (because he bit into it!), Giuls was sucking on and starting to bite on hers. We all started laughing uncontrollably to the point where our tummies hurt… and then I looked around at all of us laughing and my laughter quickly turned to sobbing…because you should have been there laughing with us. I ruined the moment. There we were… suddenly sad. One minute a family in hysterics, and the next minute somber and unfixable. We miss you. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. I could see sadness in your daddies eyes. Gabby was now filled with tears. And, Rocco told me not to cry.

We still constantly look for signs from you. So, keep sending them when you think of it.

Oh, and thank you for the sky FULL of stars on your birthday. Lord knows that’s no easy task in the winter months here. We know you are out there somewhere among those beautiful stars, and we look forward to the day when we will hold you once again tightly in our arms. We’ll certainly have a lot of catching up to do. Or maybe we won’t?

Not a moment goes by that we don’t miss you or think of you or feel your loss. I wish with all my heart we would have had more than just one birthday to celebrate WITH you.

Happy Birthday Tato buns! I love you! We ALL love you.

Gabby's FIVE (and a quarter!) Year Update!

Time for some birthday updates!! Let’s start with Gabby’s since she turned FIVE almost three months ago!

Gabby’s birthday came on the heels of us moving into our new house. We had a two part celebration for her and she also celebrated at school by bringing Rice Krispy treats to share. First, we held a small party for her at a local pottery painting studio. In addition to her family and our au pair, Maria, she invited her best friends Sofia and Giovanni (BF’s from CA who also moved here in July!), and two neighbor girls who became fast friends. The kids had brunch, painted pottery and then we sang the birthday song and ate lots of cake. Everyone seemed to have a great time and they each received their painted pottery as a party favor.

Then, on Gabby’s actual birthday, we let her open gifts the moment she woke up and I think they were unwrapped in less than 10 minutes. The day was spent playing with all the new toys, doing art projects, and dressing up in all the new fancy clothes and princess shoes. We went out for dinner that night and all of us enjoyed birthday sundaes.

It’s been a challenge for me to give any updates on Gabby over the past 18+ months for two reasons. Obviously, we’ve been a little busy (new baby & a big move). But, I think the bigger reason might be my constant observation of watching her personality grow and her understanding (and non-understanding!) of life change since losing her brother, Matteo, almost 19 months ago. While she is MOSTLY a VERY happy little girl, she does have her sad moments of deeply missing Matteo and not understanding why he died. She still goes about her day very carefree and fun-loving, but she now has an *old soul* quality to her. This is clearly evident when she is motherly with her siblings and as she consoles me in my sad moments.

She has certainly grown to take on the protective big sister role – always very concerned and protective over Rocco and Giuilana’s safety. When getting out of the car in a parking lot, she will be the first to tell Rocco he has to hold our hands. She worries so much about him getting lost in public places, or doing dangerous things. Almost to the point where we have to remind her it’s ok and we’re there watching him. And, when we had to take Giuliana to the ER, she lost it. We had to sit and reassure her that Giuliana was ok and was going to come home with us.

While she has an old soul and a maternal instinct, she keeps it real by still having play dates with friends and sharing all of her 5 year old dreams and wishes with us. Her life still pretty much revolves around princesses, fairy tale and her family. Add in the occasional 5 year old tantrum and she’s a pretty normal little girl. Although, I sometimes wonder how many other little girls will have a 35 min fit about what they’re going to wear that day. Hmmmm….

Gabby LOVES to play dress-up in my closet, her friend’s closets and her own. She’ll put some very interesting outfits together… some I love, and some, well, ummmm… colorful combinations together. Gabby also LOVES to play “stylist” to Dan and I… picking out our clothing is so much fun for her. Dan thinks she’s 5 going on 17 and entirely too interested in clothing and fashion.

Gabby also loves books and started learning to read shortly after we moved into our new house. She is now able to read 8-10 pages at a time in the Dick & Jane books before she gets tired from concentrating. Playing spelling and princess games on the iPad is also something she enjoys.

Gabby is in an advanced gymnastics class, twice weekly, which she really enjoys. She has also started tap and ballet and is super excited for her spring show. She’ll start swimming classes again in the spring and possibly soccer too. She loves showing us how fast she can run and playing catch with daddy and Rocco.

As much as she loves sports, Gabby is truly a girly-girl at heart. She loves to watch me put make-up on, which isn’t very often these days. She’ll always ask if she can have some on too. It’s cute to see/hear her interest in makeup right now. Probably not so cute when she’s 10 and sneaking makeup on, right? She is equally interested in jewelry and yes, she loves to pick out what jewelry I should wear. She and I also try to sneak out on a somewhat regular basis to get mani/pedi’s together. We both love the time together and having pretty nails is the icing on the cake!

She has made some wonderful new friends here thanks to gymnastics, school and great neighbors. And, she is super excited about kindergarten next year. She asked me the other day if she gets to ride the bus. I asked if she WANTED to ride the bus. She said yes. I’ll be honest - this scared me! After 5 years of watching her like a hawk, you just put your child on a bus? Huh? Really? And, she’ll get off at the right stop? Am I crazy or what?! I told her she didn’t have to ride the bus if she didn’t want to and she said “but mommy, I’ve waited my WHOLE LIFE for this!” Hilarious! (I’ll be the crazy mother following the bus in my car.)

Her bedroom looks like a pink-and-princess-everything wonderland. She is obsessed with the color pink and princesses. If you ask her what she’d like to be someday, she’ll tell you she’d like to be a princess and maybe a dress maker. She LOVED the new Rapunzel movie (as did I) and has so many questions about Rapunzel’s magical hair. Her favorite princesses are now Rapunzel, Belle and Ariel (in that order). She is also incredibly interested in the upcoming Royal wedding.

Gabby is a great eater and she’ll try almost anything. She loves fruits and vegis and her favorite foods are pizza, mac-n-cheese, hot dogs and steak. She loves anything Italian, Mexican, Thai or Indian. And, she’ll eat any kind of fish I make and loves sushi too. The strangest thing she eats is probably a deli meat called “olive loaf”, which I ate as a kid. She loves it and calls it “square bologna”.

The age of five also seems to be accompanied by growth. She has gotten so tall, remains very lean, and her hair has gotten longer and thicker. It’s hard to believe, but she’s only 4.5lbs heavier than Rocco!

Her five year growth stats were:

Weight: 38.8lbs (25^th %ile)

Height: 43.75in (75^th %ile)

Every so often she’ll complain of her leg or a joint hurting, and I think it’s probably those awful growing pains I remember having as a child. Lately, she’s also complained of her teeth hurting so I brought her in to the dentist between check-ups. He told us her teeth and gums look perfect, but that she’ll soon start to lose her baby teeth. Yikes - she’s growing up!

Gabby continues to ask almost every day why Matteo died. It is the same conversation, over and over… almost as if it’s been recorded and I simply press “play” when needed. She still tells me “Tato was just not able to kick the sickies away. Me and Rocco are strong enough to kick all the sickies away so we won’t die”. The fact Matteo died in his sleep and we’ll never know why has also had impact on her sleep habits. She recalls without effort so many details from that morning, including how she woke up in her bed alone to me screaming. She was scared to sleep alone for months following Matteo’s death. At the time, I was fine with it. I needed her to sleep with me too. During the summer months, Rocco was her constant roommate while traveling – so she slept in her bed throughout the night without issue. Then, we moved into our new house and she still hasn’t adjusted perfectly to not getting scared at night and sleeping in her own room again. I feel like we’ve tried everything so I have resorted to bribery once again. I told her when she sleeps in her own bed for the entire night, for seven nights straight, she can get her ears pierced. (Don’t expect a post about ears being pierced anytime soon. Ha!)

We sure do love our precious Gabby! This girl has got a heart of gold. She is sensitive and loving and wears her emotions on her sleeve. She loves SO big! She loves to help with cooking, baking and cleaning up her bedroom and the play room. She loves to help with her little sister and play mommy to Rocco, often calling him “buddy” and “sweetheart”. She is funny, and silly and loves to make us laugh. She loves her family more than words and this is evident every single day. This child melts my heart, completely, every single day. Love you, Gabbers!