“Momma, why we got no house?”

Our living situation is crazy right now. Since moving out of our house we have stayed at 6 different hotels in in 4 different cities, traveled 800 miles, and moved into a temporary apartment while waiting for our home to be completed. Add to that the non-routine of summer, the constant busy work of finishing all the details with the new house, and I find myself sometimes scratching my head wondering what day it is. 

I think the kids are even a little confused! 

But, they seem to mostly be just confused with our living situation. 

The other day as I was walking out of T.arget with all the kids, Giuliana burst out with “Momma…. why we got no house?” (This is just after we moved into the temp apartment.)

I was certain everyone around us was convinced I was homeless and on welfare with 4 kids after that.

And, I notice that Rocco and Giuliana are frequently mixing up and using “hotel” and “apartment” interchangeably. 

The house can not be completed soon enough!

First Day of School 2013!

Big day today!

Gabby started SECOND GRADE and Rocco started KINDERGARTEN at a new school, in a new state. And, on August 7th no less! The sun was shining, the kids were excited and happy and it was a great morning.

Both kids were very much looking forward to starting school and meeting friends in their new hometown. The early school start date could not have been a better fit for this family! I love it... because it gets them back into a routine and meeting new friends just 1.5 weeks after we arrived in CA. And, I also love a shorter summer break for kids because I feel like they lose less of what they've learned over the summer months.

Gabby was very particular with choosing her 1st day of school outfit. Rocco could have cared less what he wore... as long as it was shorts and a t-shirt. The temperature hit 98, which is pretty average for this time of year here. Thank goodness for air conditioning in the classrooms!

I love the kids new school campus... it's clean and has a few nice playground areas. The school ranks very high in the state of CA, the teachers I've met seem on top of their game, and I love that they will pretty much get to eat lunch outside every day. And, I am also thrilled that I will no longer have to bundle them up in waterproof, cold weather gear as I had to do in Washington 90% of the time.

Rocco was only a tad bit bummed about not getting to ride a bus to school. If we would have been in WA still... he would have been riding a bus to school with Gabby. In CA, there is no bus service... unless you purchase it for your child. I think Gabby was fine with this... she's probably had her fill of the bus riding experience for now. So, add school drop-off and pick-up to the mommy taxi to-do list!

Since this elementary school does not have a full day program (which I was admittedly very bummed about... because Gabby thrived in all day kindergarten), Rocco is in the p.m. kindergarten class. And, since he's in p.m. kindergarten... I have 4 different drop off/pickup times. Gabby starts school at 8am. Rocco starts at 11:16am. Gabby finishes at 2:15pm. Rocco finishes at 2:45. Not sure how a family with two parents working outside the home would even handle this. Well, actually I do... they would HAVE to have a full-time nanny or au.pair on staff. To make things a little easier... we do one drop-off in the morning which means Rocco starts his day in extended care. Extended care basically lets him play with other pals in his kindergarten class before school starts.

The first day ended with a school P.TA hosted frozen yogurt celebration... complete with photo booths and a DJ for the kids. It was a great event and the perfect way to top off the FUN day that both kids had on their first day at the new school!

Marco's 15 Month Update

Marco's 15 Month Growth Stats
Height: 32.5 inches (90th %ile)
Weight: 21lbs 4oz (10-25th %ile)
Head: 19 1/4 (90th %ile)

Naps: He is consistently napping once a day. If he naps a second time, it’s because his regular nap was short, and/or we’re driving in the car somewhere in the late afternoon. For naps, up until we moved out of our house in mid-July, I would sit with him in the rocking chair so his head could rest on my shoulder and I could snuggle my head against his. When I felt his body start to fall into a sleepy state, I would lay him in his crib and he’d maybe wiggle a little bit, but he would generally just fall right to sleep. Since we moved out of the house, we’ve been in 11 different hotels and now just moved into a temporary apartment until our house is finished being built. The inconsistency in the sleep environment, and not having a crib for a majority of this time was so confusing to Marco. So now for nap time, I lay him down on the bed next to me and put big pillows all around us, and wait for him to settle himself down to sleep on my bed. The one thing that is consistent is his brown blanket. He LOVES his brown blanket and won’t sleep without it. He’s napping every day around 10:30/11am and will sleep anywhere from 1.5-3 hours. 

Night Sleep: We usually put the big kids to bed first and then put Marco to sleep so we can focus our energy on him without distractions from the big kids. Typically, Marco’s bedtime is at 8:15pm. Again, since his the move, there has been no real consistency with the sleep environment or even having a crib. This has been hard on me, and possibly a little difficult for Marco too. But, as any child would… he much rather prefers to sleep next to mommy versus alone in his crib. I LOVE this… but it’s challenging in that I again have become a bit of a sleep crutch and I have to be more involved just for his safety, etc. Part of me is really trying to just soak this up since I know he is my last baby. I’ll put his PJ’s on, brush his teeth, get his blanket and milk sippy cup and lay him in the bed next to me. I then wait for him to settle himself and fall asleep. This new process seems to take awhile because he’s still so excited to be in MY bed. Versus our typical (and fabulous!) routine that we had created where I would rock him for 10-15 minutes or until he started to fall asleep, and then set him in his crib where he would sleep nicely. He’s a good little sleeper, except for the nights when his teething gets the best of him. Most nights he will sleep through the night. And about once every 6 weeks, I think we hit a developmental milestone and he’ll wake up around 3:30/4am’ish, and be ready to play. This will keep me awake for an hour, sometimes longer… just in time to fall asleep and then have to wake up to get the other kids ready for school, etc. Oy! When he does sleep through the night, he’ll wake up anywhere between 6:30-8:30am.  

Eating: He is such a great little eater. He will eat anything and everything we put in front of him. And, he loves the little fruit and vegetable food pouches. Dan calls them spaceman food. He loves trying new foods. If he doesn’t want to eat something, he will push it to the side or off his tray. His favorites are pizza, pastas, eggs, salmon, sausage, blueberries, strawberries, peas, beans of any kind. 

Marco Updates: 

• His brown blanket is his favorite possession. He LOVES his blankey.
• Most frequently used words are: Momma, dadda, hot dog, baby, sausage. But, he mostly just grunts or screams or points to what he wants or is drawing your attention to.
• He knows what *Happy* is… and when he’s happy, he’ll say “HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY!” I swear it’s the cutest thing. EVER.
• Loves riding on airplanes. He is insistent on sitting in his own seat and will shove anyone out of the way to sit in the window seat
• He’ll scream at the kids until they give him what they’re holding or they give him what he wants
• Temper tantrums! He’s starting to know he can express his anger when he’s upset, and gets attention for it. His current method for expressing anger is laying on the floor and kicking his feet against the wall, while crying. His older siblings think this is hilarious and they’re highly entertained by it. I try to just talk calmly and tell him why he can’t do what he was doing because it will hurt him or whatever.
• Loves to be silly and put buckets over his head, then walks around trying not to bump into the walls. Again, his siblings find this hilarious. 
• Loves the lawn mower and vacuums. As soon as the gardener starts the lawn mower, Marco will want to stand by the windows watching. 
• He also loves vacuums. He practically tries to cuddle with it. He watches and follows us while vacuuming, and the second we turn the vacuum off, he’ll start to cry. It is the funniest, saddest thing. You can’t help but laugh… and feel so bad for the little guy at the same time. 
• Teething like a madman! 
• Feeds mommy: He really enjoys feeding me whatever he is eating. 
• Fascinated with bubbles. He’ll sit so quietly, watching and wondering, when we blow bubbles into the air. 
• Loves to swim. He can’t get enough of the water. He tries to jump out or our arms constantly when we’re in the water with him. I think he watches his siblings and wants to do exactly what they’re doing. Somehow, he holds his breath underwater and every time we pull him up… you can tell he’s just getting ready to jump back out of our arms again into the water.
• Fascinated by grass and dirt. Just loves to touch it, play with it, throw it, dig in it… and yes, he’s also tried to eat it. :)
• Swats at things SO fast. 
• He’s been known to whip french fries across the table while we’re dining out. Always resulting in lots of laughter from the older siblings. 
• He likes to mostly stand in our booth or at our table, while we’re dining out.
• If he knows his food is hot, he loves to blow on it. 
• Loves swords, guns and legos.
• Drinking out of regular cups. Not perfectly, but he can do it.
• He is a total beast in doctor offices. He opens drawers, he wants to touch everything, can’t sit still for 2 seconds, even tries to climb up to the reception TV’s to turn the stations, etc. I dread when I have to bring him to a doctor appt with me, in fear of the typical doctor office wait. It’s so hard trying to keep him out of trouble and occupied. 
• Loves eating with utensils. Does everything he can to be a big boy.

Sale of the WA House

Dan and I both agree that on a sunny day... Washington might be the most beautiful place we've ever lived. With neighborhood views of Mt. Rainier and Mt. Baker... the endless, towering trees that seem to be covered in a dreamy blanket of moss year round... mornings that started with fog blankets sitting low in the valley but resting on the trees leading up into the foothills. It seemed every direction has a beautiful view that could take your breath away and make you realize how really small we are in this grand scheme of life and all that *is*.

Dan and I also realized, fairly quickly, after moving to Washington that we would not be there long term. It just wasn't for us. I think our hearts were left behind in California. I think... maybe I even felt like we left little Matteo's soul behind.

The constant gray sort of put an exclamation point on the feelings on just *knowing it wouldn't be our forever home*. When you grow-up, or live somewhere for 12 years that sees the sun at least 300 days a year to a place that sees the sun less than half of that... it's a mental challenge. Or, I should say - it was for us.

People say the Seattle rain is a deal breaker.

It wasn't for us. It was the gray skies. The rain just put the exclamation mark on it.

We loved our home. We loved our neighborhood and community. We loved the schools our children attended. We loved the activities/facilities we were involved with. And, we loved the newfound friendships that we had built with a few people.

But, we just couldn't envision us planting our roots any deeper there. We decided that living in a place where we see the sun regularly really IS important to us. We like warm climates. We missed California and all that it offers with beaches and mountains and family vacations and trails to run, hike and explore... not to mention the fact that we deeply missed the family, friends and professional networks we left behind.

We decided it was time to put the house up for sale. If we were going to move - we wanted to do it sooner, rather than later... and get on with our life and planting roots for our family.

We put the house up for sale ourselves. Our rationale being that we could save some money by doing it ourselves, and we weren't in any hurry. We figured that if it took over a year to sell... Rocco would have the benefit of having the same kindergarten teacher that Gabby had, and that would be worth staying in gloomy WA another year.

I staged the house. I took the photos. Dan took care of all the legal and broker details. And, much to our surprise... we sold the house in just over 2 months. We never held one open house. We showed the house to inquiries only and had about 10 families total do walkthrough's. Of course, it was never at a convenient time. It always seemed like Dan was out of town and I was scrambling to get the house in tip-top condition and oh-by-the-way, disappear with 4 kids for however long.

We had 2 months from sale contract (May 11) to the close of our sale (July 18). So, the race was on to find a new home. Dan and I both made multiple day trips down to CA to scout homes in our new target city. We finally put an offer on a home at the end of June. This was quickly followed by a race to get 2 children registered at the new elementary school, etc. Oh, and PACKING. Packing with 4 young children is super fun. SUPER. FUN.

The move was sad for Gabby...she was devastated to be leaving her friends. This was heartbreaking to me. She had such a great group of girlfriends at school. And, she was tight with her gymnastics teammates as well. I knew the move would be the most difficult for her. I frequently reminded her that we could keep in touch with all her friends via Skype, email and snail mail.

Rocco was leaving behind one very good friend who just happened to be a neighbor. They would spend every day (the entire day!) on their bikes... biking between our houses, shooting their guns while biking, playing in the yard, snacking, and just hanging out how little boys do. His name was Reid and they were self-proclaimed *best buddies*. Oh, and Giuliana had a huge crush on Reid too. And, Reid was seriously the sweetest, big-hearted, giant kindergartener I've ever known (next to Rocco, of course!). They were a perfect match!

And, I was also leaving two very special friendships (which I cherish just as much as friendships from my childhood). And, thank goodness for text messaging because we remain the *mommy text network* (per Dan)... frequently texting and laughing about the constant comedy in our lives as each of us has 3+ children, and so many stories every day we could start our own comedy show. So, we just *get* each other so much.

July 18th approached a lot faster than I had anticipated. And, since our new home in CA was under construction... the road to living in our next house was not going to be fast OR easy.

4 Years without Matteo

Sometimes... there are just no words.

I was not sure it would be possible... but missing you more than ever, sweet Matteo Tate. I love you so much baby boy and I hope you can see our candles from Heaven tonight and feel our love each and every day.  
 
Four years, four glassybaby's to light..."believe", "angel", "forever", and "love".

"What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us." ~ Helen Keller

“And can it be in a world so full and busy, the loss of one weak creature makes a void in any heart, so wide and deep that nothing but the width and depth of eternity can fill it up.”

– Charles Dickens

“Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before, how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way, and that so many things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever...”

-- Isak Dinesen

“If there ever comes a day when we can't be together;

Keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever.”
~Winnie the Pooh

 

Rocco's Pre-K.indergarten Graduation

 

Rocco graduated from pre-kindergarten today.

I can't believe my baby boy is going to be a kindergartener in the fall!

His school held a super-cute graduation ceremony. They put together a nice slideshow of all the kids, they sang songs, they were all dressed in little gowns and caps, and cake was served afterwards.

Rocco had a great experience at his school. He went to school 3 days a week from 9am-4 or 5pm. He loved it and had made a number of friends. There were maybe 4 or 5 little guys that he talked about often - so we know he was maturing in that he was able to develop true friendships... not just parallel play anymore. This seems to happen later for little boys than girls (based on our own experience, of course). He gravitated toward one friend more than the others, so we had that little boy, Ian, over to play at our house once, and Rocco also played at his house once too.

I really liked Rocco's teachers. I loved the school. I liked that they provided so many opportunities to learn and practice writing and numbers and science projects, etc. But, they always made it FUN. Rocco frequently came home with worksheets completed, and sometimes an art project or two. It was obvious art was not a serious area of interest for him though! ha!

We also learned that Rocco was a good friend to his classmates. We received an email from a parent of one of his classmates. This mother told us that her daughter would often get teased by one of the little boys in the class. And, she proceeded to tell us how Rocco would stick up for her little girl, Mary, and that he would deflect the other little boy so he would leave Mary alone. This mother seemed so thankful for Rocco's kindness... and Mary clearly thought Rocco was a champ. I was SO PROUD when I read this email from Mary's mother. I knew we were raising a kind, sweet, little boy... but this just reinforced it. I told Rocco all about it and how proud we are of him and the young man he is becoming. He was clearly very proud and talked about this for days.

All in all... I think our little guy is ready for k.indergarten.

And of coure, with each life milestone like this... I can't help but feel a strong pain in my chest and a heavy heart. Matteo should be here too. He should have had this pre-K experience. He should be going to k.indergarten too. The pain just never goes away.

Clear margins... feeling thankful!

My mom chose to have a double mastectomy.

 

I am happy to share that my mom's surgery went extremely well. The surgeon was able to remove the cancer successfully, and the sentinel lymph node was cancer free [based on frozen sections (90% accurate) - final path results will come next week].

 

She's now working to heal from this major surgery, and will meet with her care team in a few weeks to determine next steps. Most likely, the next steps will include several months of chemotherapy and possibly radiation treatments.

 

Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers... and send as much positive energy as you can her way. 

 

She has been through so much. I am so proud of her... it takes a lot of courage, strength, research, and faith in her care team, to make the decisions she's had to make, and fight this battle head-on.

 

*****

UPDATE: Final path results did show that the sentinel lymph node was indeed cancer free.

A Quiet Place...

So, we recently caved and bought that *oh so fancy* diary from T.arget for Gabby. Fancy in that the child gets to voice record their password. Sounds pretty cool, right?

Ohmygosh... it is a parent's nightmare. NIGHTMARE! For numerous reasons.

How many 7 year olds remember their password? I'm 38 and I feel like I forget passwords every other day.

Also, if the child doesn't speak clearly, with the same intonations or speed... the diary won't' open.

When your child can't get their diary to open for whatever reason, you are unfortunately going to hear about it. (Code for tantrums, meltdowns, and crying like it's the end of the freaking-world.)

Gabby spent at least a half hour today frantically going from room to room in search of a *quiet place* to voice record her new password to the diary.  (GOOD LUCK, GIRL!! I've been trying for 7.5 years too!)

Rocco's 1st Year in L.ittle L.eague

We decided to sign Rocco up for L.ittle L.eague.

What a JOKE! HA!

Let's just say that 5 year old boys have little to no interest in playing baseball... unless they are actually hitting the ball off a tee. Or, more accurately... I should describe this as whacking at a ball on the tee.

Rocco was excited about the experience... his uniform pants, his new shoes and a nut cup (as his daddy told him - he thought this was hilarious).

But, we learned quickly that outside of his moments at-bat, he just did not yet have the attention span for the game of baseball. The things he did love about the entire experience really had nothing to do with the sport itself.

He loved:
* playing with the dirt on the field
* finding good rocks while standing on the pitchers mound, in the outfield... and much to his parents surprise... even stopping while running to 1st base to stop and pick up a rock he spotted along the way (and subsequently, getting an out).
* playing on the play structure next to the baseball field at every break, inning change... basically every possible opportunity, we had to gather the little boys from the play structure and direct them back to the field. Good times.
* hitting the bat on the dirt, trying to crush rocks
* playing 2 games against his best pal, Reid
* and of course, every at-bat opportunity was something he really did enjoy (thank goodness it wasn't a total loss!)

If any of us get bad...

ROCCO: "Mom, if any of us get bad... you should just start putting us in handcuffs!"

ME: "That is a brilliant idea, Rocco!"


[[Reason #172 why little boys have no future in babysitting!]]

 

B.reast C.ancer

There are few word combinations that I hate more than B.REAST C.ANCER.

My favorite aunt died from bre.ast ca.ncer approximately 6 months after Dan & I were married...almost 11.5 years ago. I have such wonderful memories of her. She was a strong, beautiful, confident woman. She left behind 3 daughters, her husband, a sister, a brother, her mother, and 10 grandchildren. She was my mom's sister, who my mom still misses so much each and every day.

We each have moments in life that you never forget where you were, or the feelings and adrenaline that rushed through your body at that instant. The shear thought brings you back instantly, to the extent that your body reacts as if that moment is happening again.

I was in my closet, purging clothing for goodwill when I got a phone call from my mom. I had been waiting for her call, because she was waiting for test results from a lab. She had a mamm.ogram two weeks prior, and a needle biopsy the week prior because they were worried about a small area found in the m.ammogram. Today she would be getting her results from the needle biopsy.

She told me she had br.east c.ancer. I couldn't help but immediately start crying. She started crying. I would have done anything to be by her side at that moment so I could just hug and hold her, and let her know how much I love her. I told her we'd get her through this on top. She was going to be ok. I was scared for her. Scared for me. And, I couldn't imagine the fear, disbelief and all of the other emotions I was sure were consuming her completely.

We talked about next steps. We pondered the reality of the situation... and how we could not believe this was happening.

When I hung up the phone, I cried more.

She just doesn't deserve this. No woman does.

B.reast canc.er just sucks. And, it seems to be everywhere.

I told my husband. He felt the blow.

I told my kids. They had a lot of questions... every answer I gave them ended in "....but she's going to be ok."

And, just like that... my family was hit with brea.st can.cer.

They're SO BIG!

ME: "Giuliana, these shoes don't fit you anymore. Your feet have grown! And look at your toes... wow - they're so long!"

GIULIANA: "And look at my boobies... they're SO BIG!"

 [[I don't know how kids come up with this stuff... but every day they make me laugh so hard.]]

Marco is ONE!

My baby boy is one year old! ONE! Where does the time go? [sniff sniff]

His birthday was a flurry of activity! School drop-offs and pickups for the big kids, Giuliana had gymnastics, and Dan was supposed to arrive home from a business trip that afternoon. Then, of course I had a house showing that I had to quickly scramble and prep the house for, and a cake to bake for little Marco to eat and smash in celebration of being one! After I picked the kids up from school, I quickly fed them and we then took off for Rocco's baseball game. Dan arrived home sometime during the game. When we got home... I think I finally had the cake frosted and decorated by 7:30pm, and by that time... poor little Marco was just exhausted and ready for bed! Who could blame him?! So... we were able to take a few photos of him with his siblings and the cake, and a few with mommy & daddy and the cake. Then, we sang H.appy Bi.rthday... he LOVED everyone singing to him! He danced and wiggled back and forth, all while having a huge smile on his face and clapping along with us at the end. It was adorable! He loved the chance to explore his cake. He first tested it with his finger... and seemed to really like the frosting. After a few finger licks... it was almost like he realized "Hmmm... this is GOOD! And, they're not stopping me from touching it!" So, he quickly took advantage of that and started patting his hands on it and laughing. Before we knew it, he was smashing both hands into the cake, while smiling and laughing. Frosting and cake were flying everywhere! This child was definitely my most brave and carefree birthday baby... he made a very big mess, he was so proud of it and had a TON of fun doing it! Absolute birthday success!

Marco's 12 Month Growth Stats:
Height: 30.5 inches (75th %ile)
Weight: 20lbs 16 oz (25th %ile)
Head: 18.8 (75-90 %ile)

Eating: Marco has become much more comfortable and courageous with solid foods since he stopped breastfeeding a little over a month ago. He will sometimes eat 2-3 adult sized yogurts in one day. Also, now that he is one we can start giving him cow's milk. He doesn't seem to like straight whole milk... but is a bit more interested if I give him a sippy cup filled with half whole milk and half chocolate milk. Making sure he gets enough calcium has been a concern of mine since he stopped nursing and would not drink formula. But, the doctor assured me that if he's eating so much yogurt - he'll be fine. Some of his favorite foods include sausage, raspberries, blueberries, bananas, bacon, raviolis, hot dogs, scrambled eggs, pizza, rice, salmon, and here's the surprise... lamb sliders! He could NOT get enough of the lamb sliders we ate the other night!  

Naps: Marco is napping only once a day in his crib on most days. He's on the brink of giving up that second nap, which has both positives and negatives. Since he's sort of ready to give it up, but often still needs it... I feel less guilty on the evenings we have to drive to an activity and he falls asleep on the drive. He'll often steal an hour long nap in the car on those nights... but always has a tough time when waking up from those evening naps. Poor baby! On the plus side... when they move to one nap, you feel less tied to home for those two nap sessions. But, it also means they have much more time to be busy and active during the day and melt down a bit faster as bed time approaches. I think in a month or two he will most certainly be living with only one nap a day. He goes down for his naps so great. I grab his brown blanket and rock him in the rocking chair, while singing to him softly. His little face cuddles into my neck and he falls fast asleep. Sometimes, I'll sit there and let him sleep on me a for a while. Other times, I'll put him down in his crib a minute or two after he falls asleep. He sleeps so soundly and peacefully. Love this little man so much!

Night Sleep: Marco is sleep trained! Woot! Since he stopped nursing, it was time to properly sleep train him and it was easy to do since we had a relatively familiar nightly routine... even with the recent change of no more breastfeeding. After I put the big kids to bed, we get him in his PJ's and brush teeth. We sit in the rocking chair, with his fuzzy brown blanket, and I will sing softly to him and hold him so his head rests on my shoulder (brown blankey wrapped around his back. He usually falls asleep pretty quick... and then I lay him down in his crib. I can tell he loves this time.. and I love it too. He rarely wakes up when I lay him down in the crib, but if he does... he can put himself to sleep with minimal fussing/crying. He wakes up still between 11pm - 2 am, and then I just bring him in bed next to me and he falls asleep right away. He will wake up for the day around 6:30am. We've had an odd/random, middle-of-the night wakeup with Marco that seems to happen once every 1-3 weeks. He'll just wake up and start babbling, and doing his happy *talk*. He'll kick at me, or slap at me to try and get reaction, or get me to wake up. He'll be wide awake for at least an hour. None of my other kids ever did this, and if they ever did, it certainly didn't happen on a regular basis. I think this is the way his little brain and body are handling developmental milestones... it's almost like he's just ready to go for the day... bright and early at 3am (usually it is in the 3 o'clock hour when he'll surprise me w/this great wakeup). Thankfully, he'll usually fall back asleep after an hour or hour and a half. But wow... it is exhausting me and I can't wait until his little brain figures out a better way to held the developmental milestones and growth! 

 

Marco Updates:   

* 4 teeth in his mouth now!

* Loves to wave "Hi" and "bye"... but still not saying either of those words.

* Loves to pull hair... anyone and everyone's hair is game if you let him get a grab at it.

* When he hears the gardener start up the lawn mower... he runs to the window and will watch him as long as he can stand there and see the lawn mower and the guy pushing it. If we're not near the window, he'll point and grunt for us to go over to the window to watch.

* Crazy obsession with the vacuum. He LOVES it. If I am vacuuming and stop... he will start to cry SO hard. But, the second you turn the vacuum on again, he walks around you happily with a big smile on his face... perfectly content just watching every move you make with that vacuum. I have a very funny video of this... I need to post it!

* He loves toys he can push... like Giuliana's baby stroller, the kid's grocery cart, the ride on car (he prefers to push it and not ride on it so much).

* Loves feeding Dan and I. He will always want to sit on my lap while I am eating, and I can rarely keep him from grabbing food off my plate and stuffing it in my mouth. It is hilarious, but so annoying at the same time because I can't just sit there and eat without food being jammed against my lips and subsequently making a mess all over the floor.

* He LOVEs going on wagon rides... he is fascinated by everything outdoors right now and is so curious about the outdoor world. He loves putting his hands in the dirt and grass. He loves seeing bunnies and deer and birds and dogs. He gets SO excited when he sees an animal and will point and scream... which of course scares off the wild animals.

* He loves being outside so much in fact that he will often bring his shoes to us, and that is his way of telling us it's time to go outside and explore.

* He has been given the opportunity to color on numerous occasions (thanks to the ever present basket of markers and color crayons on the table)... and he LOVES it. He will climb up onto the kitchen chairs and color any of the papers that are sitting on the table, or the table itself. He has also colored the floors. Thank goodness for washable markers!

* He is fascinated by Rocco and all of Rocco's toys... especially the swords, guns, cars and transformers. He also tries to mimic humming the Trans.formers theme song that Rocco is always humming as he plays.

* He and Giuliana have a special little bond. And, he is constantly pulling her hair which really gets her upset. I find them stealing toys from each other on occasion... and other times, you'll find them snuggled up to each other on the sofa under a blanket. And, Giuliana will also baby him from time to time and put blankets over him or bring him his milk.

*He loves to play catch. He gets really excited whenever he sees a ball and will run over to it, pick it up with a big smile on his face, and quickly find someone to throw it to. Then he patiently waits for someone to throw it back.

 

 

 

 

Marco's Nursing Strike & The End of Breastfeeding

Have you ever heard of a *nursing strike*? As in, a breastfeeding nursing strike?

I have breastfed 5 babies, and had never heard of a nursing strike until recently, when my fifth child, Marco, decided to go on a nursing strike, six weeks shy of his first birthday.

Had this not been my fifth child, and had he not been so close to one year of age… this could have been very traumatizing. And, I’m sure there are so many women who have had a completely traumatizing experience when their infant starts a nursing strike, and my heart goes out to all of you.
Marco recently had R.oseola. In the first 24 hours of coming down with the fever, he went from nursing 10-12 times a day to not nursing at all. Not once! It was such a frustrating (and painful!) experience.

Prior to this illness, breastfeeding had not only been his main food source, but it was also his preferred method of being soothed, since birth. As any breastfeeding mom knows… breastfeeding wasn’t just a bonding experience, but it was my secret weapon to make him happy and calm him no matter what the situation.

Well… twenty-four hours into Marco having R.oseola and starting this nursing strike, I had to dig the breast pump equipment out of the garage because my breasts had become so engorged. I was also getting a little stressed because my motherly instinct wanted to help and soothe him while he was sick by nursing him, but he would get angry and cry harder and push away. It just wasn’t making sense to me and was so frustrating. I was also SO busy with a sick baby and three other kids (Dan was away on biz travel), that I didn’t have ten minutes to stop and try pumping that day to take care of my own body’s needs. So, I sent quick note to the Le L.eche League:

“Question regarding refusal to nurse at 10.5 mnths of age: My little guy is a good nursing baby. Brought him to doctor yesterday, thinking he might have ear infection because he didn't want to nurse right away yesterday morning like usual. Did not have ear infection - but fluid in ears, yes. Last night, I nursed him around 8:30pm before putting him down (like normal), and then he woke up at 11:20pm w/low-grade fever. I spent the entire night holding him, and trying to console him, all the while he refused to nurse. He finally fell asleep around 5am, and slept for 2 hours. When he woke up, still refusing to nurse. Brought him to MD first thing today since still presenting fever, still no ear infection. MD thinks just a virus. He's NEVER refused nursing. Matter-of-fact, it's usually a source of soothing for him when teething, upset or sick. He has now not nursed for 21 hours and he does not take a bottle either. He is drinking water and eating now. But, I don't understand why he's not nursing. Can you help me troubleshoot? Have you heard of similar experiences w/other nursing moms/babies his age? He's my 5th child, all of which have been breastfed babies and this is a new experience for me. Wondering if he is suddenly done w/nursing? I pumped this morning and noticed that my breastmilk is not very fatty at all. Could my milk be bad or not likable to him anymore?? Any help you or any of your fans can provide would be GREAT!”

They truly are such a great organization, and they quickly responded with:
“This is a nursing strike and one of the most stressful things a mama and baby can go through. They do sometimes happen with an illness. I'll give you some broad suggestions, but if you want specific support, I'd encourage you to call a leader for (free!) help. First, keep your milk moving. Human milk isn't very fatty. That's by design and totally normal. If you have access to a pump, pump as often as your nursling would typically nurse. You can offer milk in a sippy or straw cup. One thing to remember is baby's that don't nurse typically can't. This is just as frustrating for baby as it is for you. Try and offer the breast as Often as you can. Keep it low stress.”

In addition, they suggested taking a bath with the baby, and provided me with two local contacts to reach out to.  

I unfortunately didn’t have the option to take a bath with Marco because I didn’t have another adult here to manage the rest of the crew. I don’t know if he would have even done that anyway, he just wanted to be held and snuggled because he was so ill. And, by the time I tried to pump (24 hours later), I was so engorged it was basically unsuccessful. My boobs hurt so bad at this point that it hurt to even hold Marco against my chest.

I continued to offer Marco the boob through a second sleepless night, only to frustrate him and myself more. Dan finally arrived home almost 40 hours after Marco last nursed. I told him not to come home unless he walked in the door with cabbage. He arrived home around 2pm and once we were able to get Marco’s fever down again, I tried almost every trick in the book to get the milk moving out of me… a hot shower and massage, hand expression, and finally the pump. I STILL was not having much luck and was basically now in more pain (because of the massaging), and felt like there were bruises all over my chest. The pump did help a tiny bit though, so I didn’t go as far as trying the old *cabbage leaves on the boobs* trick to release the milk. But, I have to admit I was so desperate at one point that I almost wanted to volunteer to nurse another mother's child. I just needed a baby to suck on the boobs! AGH!!

Looking back, it’s almost comical that THIS is the way my last breastfeeding experience had to end. I guess I’ve been lucky to not have any problems breastfeeding until now… why not end with a bang, right?! Jeesh!

Eventually, I was able to pump/massage the milk out and get to a point of comfort. It was a painful, time-consuming experience that I wouldn’t wish upon anyone.

I shared my story/drama with a few mommy friends, and a couple told me that they too had experienced this *nursing strike* business. One little boy didn’t nurse for two days at 7 months old, and then he took to it again and has continued. Another friend’s little girl went on a nursing strike for two weeks at 9 months of age… the mom continued to pump, and then one morning while the baby was half-sleeping, she offered the breast and the baby started nursing regularly again until her mommy weaned her close to 14 months of age.

Hearing those stories made me think Marco *might* start nursing again, and to maybe not give up so easily. But, when he continued to not want anything to do with the boob after his fever was gone (five days later), it was clear to me he had decided he was finished. And, mentally, I was done.

Marco wasn’t nursing. He wasn’t even drinking any of the pumped milk – and I couldn’t blame him! It looked awful to me. It wasn’t the nice yellow color that *good* breast milk normally has. It almost had a blue tint to it, and there was barely a layer of fat on top.

I wasn’t about to try pushing the breastfeeding agenda on an almost 11 month old. Nor was I about to begin pumping consistently, on a regular basis at this stage of the game if he wasn’t interested in the milk.

Here we are 2.5 weeks later. I am down to pumping once every other day, and my last EVER pump will probably be tomorrow. I have tried offering Marco breast milk numerous times – he doesn’t want it. I have tried offering him formula numerous times, to which he still gauges and does not want a drop. The pediatrician tells me he shouldn’t have cow’s milk until he is 1 year old.

Now, you are probably asking “How is he getting the calcium he needs?”

Well, he eats at least 4 adult sized vanilla yogurts every single day. And, he has been eating massive amounts of anything and everything I offer him lately. It’s insane! While he was breastfeeding – he was still not super-interested in table foods. He was eating baby foods more frequently, but still loved to nurse whenever he wanted. Now, he is like a little wolf, and willing to try eating whatever is presented to him! He eats cous cous, rice, peas, green beans, avocado, strawberries, raspberries, chicken, turkey, ham, potatoes, French fries, mac & cheese, raviolis, tortellinis, waffles, pancakes, buttered toast, yogurt…and those are just his favorites. I’m so proud of him… it’s like he just took a leap of faith into the world of food!

And here’s the kicker – he is now either sleeping through the night or only waking up once during the night since quitting breast feeding! When he was breastfeeding, he was still nursing throughout the night… probably 2-5 times a night, which resulted in me never getting a good night’s sleep. It’s as if his little tummy is finally so happy to have lots of filling, fatty foods in it… and he can sleep for longer periods of time because of it! YAY!!

I guess I had envisioned a grand ending to my breastfeeding experience with Marco… especially since he is our last child. When he went on the nursing strike, I have to admit that the “Oh my gosh… I’m not going to have that last moment with him… with any baby again… EVER!” But, that seemed to pass quickly. Or, perhaps I just didn’t dwell on it because I was so glad when he finally finished the Ro.seola virus and was healthy again.

I think it was a WIN-WIN for both of us. He seems happier. He is sleeping better. He’s eating everything and truly loving food. And, I am sleeping better. I am enjoying my new-found freedom of not having to be constantly attached to a baby who needed to breastfeed every 3 hours. And, I am having so much fun introducing him to so many new foods.

It is truly the end of an era for me... no more breastfeeding babies! The boobies are done! (and now they look like they need to GET done! ha!)

Marco had R.oseola

Well... we just finished up another really fun experience with Ro.seola.

R.oseola is one of those great viruses that can’t really be diagnosed until the end of the illness, when the rash appears on the fifth day (day 5 of fever). Out of our five children, only Giuliana and Marco have had Ro.seola. It might be one of my least favorite viruses, because the child has a consistent fever for 5 days. And, for two of those days the fever likes to spike above 104, even though you have the baby on what seems like a steady dose of either ace.taminophen or ibupro.fren. The most frustrating part is that you can't figure out what is causing the fever until the child finally gets the rash on day 5.


Rose.ola decided to hit Marco last Tuesday night. Dan was traveling Monday - Thursday so it was already chaos central around here. Marco woke up crying around 11:15pm on Tuesday, and he felt warm to my lips so I took his temperature and it was just under 100. I gave him some ibupro.fren and brought him into bed with me and he nursed a bit around midnight. But, he did not sleep well at all. He woke up frequently throughout the night crying and he wouldn’t nurse anymore which was VERY unusual for him since nursing was his main source of soothing.


Wednesday delivered a full day of fever activity, and a continued nursing strike. Wednesday also happens to be my craziest day with the kids between school drop-offs, pick-ups and evening activities. Marco’s fever had me on edge a bit because it was already 101.3 at 10am…so I knew it was going to be a long day of switching between ibu.profren and acet.aminophen. It was also very strange to me that he was continuing to not nurse (well… strange AND painful).


We visited the pediatrician on Monday for Marco. I thought he might have an ear infection because he was waking up, crying, frequently through the night on Sunday night. However, he received a clean bill of health – no ear infection or strep, and his lungs were clear. I know ear infections can develop in a matter of hours.

Marco was so uncomfortable all day on Wednesday. He was fussy. He didn’t want to play. He just wanted to be in my arms, and even then he was whiny. He also wouldn’t walk around at all, instead, he would choose to crawl if he had any desire to move around at all. Poor baby! This made the day extra challenging for me because I was the only adult in the house, prepping meals, cleaning up after meals, helping the 3 yr old w/the potty chair, etc., all with a sick baby in my arms. I also couldn’t get him to take one decent nap, even though he was so tired. Not to mention… he still wasn’t nursing! So, my breasts were getting engorged (and hurting!) and I couldn’t get him to even entertain the idea of nursing. I knew it was time to dig the breast pump out of the garage… the last thing I needed was to get sick myself with m.astitis.

Finally, I was able to put Marco down to sleep at 8:30pm. I quickly got the other kids situated in bed, cleaned up after the kids, checked homework, ate dinner and then tried to pump. The pumping was not very successful since I was so engorged. I was now at the point where I couldn’t touch my chest without it being painful. Good times. I also knew that it was only going to get worse unless I could release some of that milk.

The pumping was interrupted by Marco, who woke up crying and so hot again by 10:15pm. His fever was 103.5. I think I may have had a mini-panic-attack at some point here… mapping mapping out my plan of action for what to do if I had to run him to the ER w/all 4 kids in tow, all the while holding him close to me, and that being extremely painful because of my engorged breasts. So, I sent Dan a text and asked him if he could possibly come home any earlier from his business trip.

I assumed that Marco and I would soon both fall asleep, so I set my phone alarm for every hour during the night so I could check on him. Well, funny thing is that I didn't even need to set the alarm because we NEVER WENT TO SLEEP. My poor little baby was SO uncomfortable and sick that he could not sleep. I spent hours walking with him in my arms, while he was screaming and kicking. Just as he would calm down and I would think he had dozed off, I would try to sit in the rocking chair and he would start wailing again. I tried singing, humming, rhythmic bouncing him in my arms, and I tried nursing him numerous times. I could not do anything to make him happy. I wanted to cry myself!

To add to the fun, just as Marco started dozing off, Gabby came running into my room at 5am crying about how her throat hurt. I was so spent at this point I think I told her to “stop crying, drink some water and go back to bed!” Ugh!

Finally, at 5:15am he fell asleep. OY! Somehow, I was able to hold him in my arms while propping up some pillows in my bed, and strategically maneuvered a position for me to hold him while hopefully also allowing me to get a little sleep. I was exhausted. And, in 1.5 hours the other kids would be waking up for the day with *bouncing-off-the-walls* energy. JOY!!

Thursday brought another full day of high fevers, even though we remained on a pretty constant regimen of the fever reducing meds. He hit 103.5 at 4:50am and 104.5 at 2pm. Dan was a total gem and able to take an earlier flight home to help me out. He got home around 2pm and once we were able to get Marco’s fever down again, I was off to try every trick in the book to express milk from my hurting breasts! (for more on that – read the next blog post, NURSING STRIKE)

By Thursday night, I think I finally started getting more control of Marco’s fever. His temperature would finally go down to 98.6 after being on meds, and it would sit there or be close to normal for a few hours at a time. His eyelids seemed to be a little swollen, and he was still fussy and needed to be constantly held. But, at least we had the fever under control.

Friday brought another day of a needy/fussy baby. He still had what seemed like swollen eyelids. He was showing more interest in *wanting* to play for short spurts at a time, but still didn’t necessarily have the energy to truly play. He just wanted momma to hold him most of the day. It was SO great to have Dan home to help out with the other kids too, so I could focus solely on Marco for the majority of the day. Dan also let me sleep in Friday morning since I was borderline insane at this point.

Saturday, Marco seemed a bit more like his normal, happy, content and playful self. But, he still had a little fever, and then I noticed Marco had developed a little rash on his tummy. Aha!! So, I looked at his back and sure enough, the rash was present there also. I immediately knew it had to be Ros.eola… because Giuliana had this! I looked up the symptoms and sure enough, he presented numerous classic symptoms... high spiking fever for 5 days, swollen eyelids, diarrhea, and a rash on the trunk on day 5.

Sunday morning, Dan and I were both relieved to see our little guy walking around, screeching with excitement, wanting to play and being curious. No fever, and no new symptoms. What a relief! The rash was a little more visible on his trunk and it looked uncomfortable and itchy, but I read he would most likely not be bothered by it (and he didn’t seem to notice).

To say I am NOT a fan of having a sick infant is an understatement. We've been so lucky with Marco so far being extremely healthy. I mean - he's really only had one ear infection, and now this. That's pretty amazing considering he has 3 older siblings constantly bringing germs home with them.

Angel Matteo is doing a great job watching over his little brother.

Don't Hate the Treadmill

Running friends: don't hate the treadmill! Mentally, I am not a treadmill runner. But I have to sing it's praises! It does have benefits if you use it right. It can also improve your endurance and your speed.

I am an outdoor runner at heart. Never been a huge fan of the treadmill, but I use it when I can’t deal with the elements outside, or if my opportunity to run comes when it’s dark outside, as I never feel safe running in the dark. 

Since early January, 90% of my running has been on a treadmill (mainly because I end up running at 9pm). Weather also factors in on occasion, as does the fact we no longer have an au pair and Dan travels frequently. I don’t love  it - but at least the treadmill allows me to get my runs in, get my happy on, and catch up on guilty pleasure TV shows. 

There’s never an ideal time when you’ve got 4 kids and no childcare help. I’m finding I try to sneak it in when Marco naps or after I get the kids tucked in bed and the kitchen cleaned up. Of course, this also happens to be when I am completely exhausted from the day. When I run on the treadmill during Marco’s naps, I’ll feel bad that I’m not spending quality time with Giuls. But, I’ll give her some books and play dough and a comfy chair next to me, and that usually occupies her while I get the endorphins flowing. After all, I know I’ll do a much better job being their mommy if I feel healthy and good about myself.

To keep the treadmill exciting, I've focused on speedwork with small inclines. I’ve been playing with increasing my speed for one minute intervals. And, then the last mile, I'll increase speed in .1mpm pace increments, every tenth of a mile.

Now that it’s warming up a bit, and daylight is extending, I’ve been getting out on the trails again and I’ve been surprised at my mile splits. I’m hitting 8mpm and sometimes under, while on my 6 mile trail. I think the last time I was doing that, it was the summer of 2011, before I was pregnant with Marco. 

It was such a fun, pleasant surprise to be able to do this… because I’ve felt really slow since trying to get back into shape after having Marco. I think the treadmill actually helped me get over a speed bump.

So, why am I sharing this? I just want to encourage anyone and everyone to do what you need to do to stay healthy and fit. It’s so important to strive for at least 30 minutes of exercise daily. I wish I was taught the importance of exercise and eating right while growing up. It just wasn’t something that was emphasized at the time. Nor was there as much research showing the importance and the benefits, as there is now. 

I don’t exercise daily, but I try to get out there as often as I can. Whether it’s a run, a brisk walk or just playing around actively with my kids inside or out. Trust me when I say I understand how hard it is to find the time or make the time, especially when you’ve got small children depending on you for every request. But, just try! You can do it too!