Martino Madness: 11 Weeks

9/19/09

11 Weeks

It's been 11 weeks now since we last saw Matteo alive. Eleven. Weeks. Eleven LONG weeks.

Life keeps going on... and on and on. And, we still miss our little dude. We miss everything about him. It still feels like a knife is going right through my heart every minute of the day... every minute I think about him. Every minute I miss him.

Every minute of every day for eleven weeks.

I miss hearing his precious voice. I miss snuggling with him every day. I miss his wild, curly, golden hair. I miss his chubby feet. I miss his huge brown eyes. I miss him burrowing his head into my shoulder when someone would get close to us or try and take him out of my arms. I miss him and Rocco fighting over me. I miss hearing him say "momma, momma, momma!" I miss EVERYTHING. Every. Single. Thing. I miss it all...

I watch this video often.
(Again, to turn off the music on this site, click pause "" on the playlist.com box. Just scroll down a bit and you'll see it in the right sidebar.)

And, this is one of the last 10 videos we took of him. It was filmed in June when he started going from only liking to watch Diego, to watching and singing along to the theme song for Dora.

5 comments:

Debby@Just Breathe said...: I still pray for your comfort. It not fair and I am so sorry for your loss. ((HUGS)); September 20, 2009 at 9:01 AM
Laura said...: My heart breaks for you. 11 weeks ago I read your blog and shared it with my mother in law who lost a baby at 6 months, she cried. The next day she suffered a rare ruptured brain absess. She has spent every single day in the hospital icu. Battling a raging infection in her brain. Surgeries. She is like a child. I am not sure she will ever be herself again even if she does live. I feel I have lost her too. The pain aches. You just never know what life will bring.; September 20, 2009 at 9:04 AM
Beth said...: Such sweet videos, thank you for sharing! Continuing to pray for you and yours!; September 20, 2009 at 11:31 AM
cat said...: Oh those "mamma's" must break your heart. Goodness, almost broke mine. Keeping you in my thoughts.; September 23, 2009 at 6:12 AM
Aune said...: 11 weeks ago I read what you had wrote.
It stands out in my mind so vividly. Normally I am not an emotional person at all but it made me upset.
That day I had bookmarked your post. The next day I told my best friend Caity about it and she wanted to read it but didnt get around to it.
I think you posted on the 6th maybe. On the 9th, my best friend Caity lost both of her parents and an uncle in a car accident.
Her parents left behind a 23y.o, 22y.o, 21y.o and a 17y.o. Also a baby granddaughter and a baby grandson.
For the past 11 weeks Caitys family have felt your pain but in their own way. I have felt your pain too.
I understand what you say about missing someone so much every second of the day.
About seeing signs around and just knowing who they are.
The car accident was heavily in the media here. The grieving process has been tough.
Each day you have to wake up sad but determined to make it through and cherish the memories. To feel the love that is around.
I have found it very influencial in appreciating life more than normal. Telling the people I love that I do actually love them and they mean the whole world.
I am very deeply sorry for your loss.
I hope too that one day my heart will stop being heavy, my stomache will stop feeling sick and my head will stop hurting.
It will be ok eventually...; September 24, 2009 at 2:02 PM