Signs

Before Matteo died, I had an unbiased opinion regarding paranormal experiences. I always found it both interesting and kind of scary to hear stories from other people. I always wanted to believe that people really do have a sixth sense, but they have to be open to it. I always wanted to believe that children have an uncanny ability to see/hear/feel things that adults do not, because they don’t fear the things adults do. And, they are naturally unbiased. I also wanted to believe that when a loved one dies… they have a strange ability to somehow communicate with you and let you know they’re still with you.

Then, Matteo died.

For 8+ weeks, I have been contemplating sharing some of my stories in this forum, of signs that Matteo is still with us. But, after last night, I feel compelled to share a few of the odd things that have happened to me/us. I think Matteo has been hard at work… randomly giving us signs that he is still here with us.

THE FIRST SIGN:
The date was July 13th. It was two nights after Matteo’s funeral. I can’t recall the exact time, but it was probably in the 10 o’clock hour. My parents were sitting in the TV room, watching TV. Dan was working late. It was dark outside. No wind… it was a normal, calm, warm summer evening. I was walking around the house putting stuff away. As I was walking through the dark kitchen, I saw in the corner of my eye a bright red light outside our back door. I remember stopping, thinking that was really strange… and wondering where this red light was coming from. So, I reversed. It wasn’t there anymore. I was curious though. So, I walked out the back door and looked in the direction of where the light came from. There sat this crazy zebra horse that Matteo just LOVED. Every single time Matteo walked out the back door, the first toy he would gravitate towards was the crazy zebra horse. So, I walked over to the zebra horse, and I touched it. I wanted to see if it would light-up again. It didn’t. I then patted it on the back. It still didn’t light up. Then, I shook it. It lit up. And there was that bright red light I saw. Sure enough. I got goose bumps from head to toe. Literally.

I knew it was Matteo. He did this. I think he was trying to tell me he was ok and he was happy.

Never before had I ever seen this toy light up by itself. And since that night, I have not seen this toy light up again by itself.



THE SECOND SIGN:
The date was July 20th. It had been 2 weeks and 2 days since I last held Matteo in my arms. I was really lonely for him. I couldn’t sleep. It was late. Everyone was sleeping. I was downstairs, by myself, watching the E! channel on TV, sitting on the sofa with my laptop. I missed Matteo so much that I decided I was going to watch all the videos I had posted of him on the blog. I just wanted to hear his voice. I wanted to see his face. I wanted to see his wiggle. So, I turned off the TV and threw the remote an arm’s length away from me on the sofa. I just watched and listened to Matteo. I felt so close to him by doing this. Of course, I was also crying and wiping tears from my eyes. To say I was missing him is such an understatement… just so sad and hurting.

Then, I heard a click from the TV. The TV turned on. By itself. BY. ITSELF. And, what’s even stranger is that it turned on to a sports channel. There I sat, by myself, in a dark room with Matteo’s videos playing on my laptop. And, the TV turns on by itself to a baseball game on channel. Have I mentioned before that Matt would actually sit with Dan and watch baseball?

I was scared to move. Seriously. I looked to my right to make sure the remote control was still sitting there. Yup. There it was. The remote hadn’t moved. And, I wasn’t sitting on it. I literally said out loud “Matteo, you’re scaring mommy.”

I continued to sit on the sofa. I was afraid to move. Afraid to get up. Afraid to turn the TV off. But, I KNEW Matteo was there with me. I was practically channeling the kid. And, then he tosses me this big ‘ol sign that he was there with me… and it freaks me out.

It still warms my heart to think about that moment. It was simply the strangest thing that had ever happened to me. And, I just knew… with my whole heart, that it was Matteo who turned that TV on.

We’ve owned this TV for 3 years. Neither Dan, nor I have ever seen it turn on by itself. We’ve never come downstairs in the morning to discover the TV being on. And, it has not turned on by itself since then.



A THIRD SIGN:
It was a Sunday morning and exactly 6 weeks since we discovered Matteo dead in his crib. I woke up at 4:45am and felt this crazy urge to go and check on Rocco. My mind was telling me I had to go check on him. What if something was wrong? What if something happened to him in his sleep. I sat there… thinking. My heart was racing. I was having trouble breathing. What if I go check on him and something is wrong? I was so scared, I couldn’t get out of bed. I didn’t want to see or experience anything so awful again in my life. My mind was racing. He’s ok. He’s ok. Your mind is playing tricks on you, Jodi. Calm down. I must have been laying there talking to myself for at least 10-15 minutes. Frozen. Scared to move. Scared to check on Rocco. But, not able to sleep again unless I was going to get up and check on Rocco and make sure the same tragedy hadn’t happened to him.

Gabby suddenly woke up. It was just after 5am. She popped up, wide awake and she leaned over and kissed my forehead. She said “Mommy, Matteo told me I needed to kiss you.” She kissed me again. She said “You get two kisses from Matteo.” He told me to tell you that he’s watching over us. We’re safe. He’s keeping us safe and everything is going to be ok. He loves us and he’s still with us.”

Tears started running from my eyes. I asked Gabby “How do you know Matteo said this, Gabby?” She said “Because he just visited me in my dream and told me to tell you that.”

I hugged Gabby so tight. She immediately fell back asleep without any tossing or turning. It was the strangest thing. But, my heart stopped racing. I stopped worrying. And, I truly believe he communicated to me through Gabby that morning. And, based on things she’ll tell me when she wakes up… I’d be willing to bet that Matteo visits her frequently in her dreams.



A FOURTH SIGN:
Dan had just gone to bed a half hour earlier. He stayed up late working and to check on Rocco, because Rocco had a cold and was having a tough time breathing. It was a little after 1am on Thursday, September 3rd.

The fire alarms throughout the house go off. Every single fire alarm in the house goes off simultaneously. Dan and I both jump out of bed. We’re freaked. Amazingly, Gabby is still sleeping . My mom (visiting at the time) is still sleeping. Rocco is still sleeping and Sarah, our new au pair, is still sleeping. Dan rushes around the upstairs seeing if there is smoke/fire anywhere. I run downstairs, in search of smoke/fire. Nothing. No smoke. No fire.

Kids are awake now. My mom and Sarah are also now awake.

I grab the kids, take them outside, wrap them in blankets, and hold them. They’re confused. We’re now outside the house and we can still hear our house loudly beeping. It’s so loud that I feel like it’s echoing throughout the neighborhood.

Dan is frantically trying to turn the alarms off. On any other occasion when one or all of our fire alarms have gone off (which I could count on one hand, mind you, and we’ve lived in this house for 7 years), you simply press and hold the button on any of the alarms going off for 3 seconds and it will turn the alarm(s) off. Dan is going from room to room doing just this. Nothing is working. He decides to cut power to the house. The house goes black. The alarms stop. He turns the power back on and the alarms all start sounding again. He goes throughout the house removing all the batteries from each and every one of the fire alarms. They’re still loudly beeping. Then, he kills the power throughout the house again. And at least 15 minutes (if not more) after the start of this… the alarms FINALLY stop. FINALLY.

My ears were still ringing. All I could think was… Matteo. He did this. The kid loved fire trucks.

So, I talk Dan into calling the fire department just to make sure we’re not missing something. We haven’t exactly been free of unexpected and uncommon events in our life for the past 8+ weeks.

I rock Rocco back to sleep with a bottle when the fire department arrives. My mom is reading to Gabby. Rocco is sleeping in my arms, drinking his milk, and reaching his open hand out to touch something in front of him. And, I sit there thinking… Matteo? Are you here with us? Did you do this tonight? Can Rocco see/feel your little face right now?

The fire department leaves. No signs of any electrical, smoke, fire or gas issues. They tell Dan we might just have one faulty alarm that set the entire system off.

How strange that this has never happened before? How strange that this happened shortly after 1am… during the timeframe that I am so sure Matteo died? There are so many odd/strange dreams or things happening during this crazy timeframe at night.

Sure. One could probably find some sort of explanation for most of these things. Perhaps there was a little animal that jumped onto Matteo’s zebra horse toy. Perhaps, there was some strange static energy in the house that made the TV turn on by itself. Maybe Gabby’s dream and the time she woke up to tell me Matteo’s message was pure coincidence with a time I was so scared. Perhaps we have a faulty fire alarm system… and it’s just coincidence that it happened to go off in the middle of the night… during the hours I feel Matteo died, 8+ weeks after he died.

It’s all what you allow yourself to believe, I guess.

Do you believe in paranormal experiences or a sixth sense? Again… feel free to share your personal stories in the comments. I would love to read them... as would other followers, I'm sure.