God is Snuggling Matatoe

During our stressful week with Rocco, there was one distinct sign our little Matt was with us.

It was the night Dan stayed with Rocco in the hospital. I was home, lying next to Gabby in bed, unable to sleep. I was so worried... and I felt like I was just waiting for news or a phone call from Dan.

Gabby was fast asleep. She was sleeping hard. Every so often, she'd even snore.

All of a sudden... she reached for my arm and said "Mommy?" I didn't respond because I could tell she was still sleeping. And, she said it again "Mommy?"

So I replied, "Yes, sweetheart?"

And she said "You know what? God and Matatoe are snuggling right now!"

And, that was it. She didn't say another thing and started snoring again shortly thereafter.

I couldn't believe it. This was crazy to me.

There I sat in the dark, wide awake, filled with worry and stressed about Rocco, grieving the loss of Matteo and replaying everything about our last two days with him. And, then Gabby says this to me, in her sleep.

I rolled over and I cried. I cried my eyes out. I couldn’t help but think and hope that little Matt was telling me something, once again, through his big sister. He wanted me to know he was ok.

I’ve never once told Gabby that God and Matteo snuggle in Heaven. Not because I wouldn’t like to believe it – I have just never thought to say something like that to her. Maybe another adult has created this beautiful image for her and she just happened to be dreaming about it that night, and happened to tell me about it in her sleep. I don’t know. It sure is quite a coincidence, if so.

My little angel… being snuggled… by God.