Gabby & I woke up together this morning... quite late... as I seem to never be able to fall asleep before 3am anymore. She woke up happy and giggly and then she layed back down and looked up at the ceiling and started an interesting conversation...
Gabby: "Mommy, why did Matatoe die?"
Me: "Well Gabby... we don't know yet. We know he was sick and had a fever... but we don't yet know why he died."
Gabby: "But mommy.... why did he die?"
Me: "That's a very good question... I don't know why he died yet."
Then, my SIL, Patty, and my mom later told me that Gabby was with them in another room... and she was looking at all the Matteo photo boards we made for the funeral. She was asking what the words were on each of the boards. Then she was telling my mom what the letters were in Matteo's name. I guess she stopped... and started putting her little hands on all the different photos of him. And... she started another conversation...
Gabby: "Why did Matateo die?"
Gammy: "We don't know yet Gabby."
Gabby: "Yeah. But what made him die?"
Gammy: "We're trying to find out... we know he was sick."
Gabby: "I'm just going to fight and kick and keep it away from me. I don't want to die, Gammy... why did he die?"
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Photo by Joni Girvan Photography
The Family - November 2013
Photo copyright Audrey Perez Photography
The Family - November 2008
Matteo's Dream Fund, Inc
Matteo's Dream Fund is an official 501(c)(3) non-profit organization, dedicated to benefit sick and terminally ill children at children's hospitals throughout the USA. To learn more about us, our mission and events, please visit http://matteosdreamfund.com
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May 7, 2012 | Four of my kiddos...
Photo by Joni Girvan Photography
Matteo (photo taken July 2, 2009)
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12 comments:
A friend of mine told me about your story - our hearts go out to you and your family. I really felt impressed to share this website with you. I know in my heart that you will be reunited with your son one day. http://www.mormon.org/mormonorg/eng/
I found this poem on Internet hope you like it...I will be praying for you and your family...
God's Loan
"I'll lend to you for a little time,
A child of mine," He said,
"For you to love the while he lives
And mourn for when he's dead."
"It may be six or seven years
Or twenty-two or three,
But will you till I call him back,
Take care of him for me?"
"He'll bring his charms to gladden you
And should his stay be brief,
You'll have these precious memories
As solace for your grief."
"I cannot promise he will stay
Since all from earth return.
But there are lessons taught down there
I want this child to learn."
"I've looked this world over,
In my search for teachers true.
In the crowds that throng life's land,
I have selected you."
"Now will you give him all your love
Not think the labour vain,
Nor hate me when I come to call
To take him back again?"
It seems to me I heard them say,
"Dear Lord, thy will be done.
For all the joys a child shall bring,
The risk of grief we'll run."
"We'll shelter him with tenderness,
We'll love him while we may,
And for the happiness we've known
Forever grateful stay."
"And should the angels call for him
Much sooner than we've planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes
And try to understand."
"Let the little children come to me and do not forbid them;
for such is the Kingdom of God." Mark 10:14
Praying for you and your family. Your words are so touching! Matteo has obviously touched numerous lives.... what a powerful angel!!!
Your poor sweet Gabby. To think that she has to worry about being taken too. How do you comfort her to take away that fear? I will pray for her "peace of mind."
I am so sorry about your baby boy. It makes me ache for you. I am so so sorry.
-Shannon in Austin
You do not know me, but I heard about your story from my sister-in-law who was a friend at UND and I wanted you to know that your family has been on my mind each and every day. My heart aches for you and I just couldn't imagine what you're going through. I have two small children who drive me nuts at times, but since reading about sweet Matteo I have learned that I need to appreciate the not so lovely parts of parenting and want to thank you for that......You have such a beautiful angel in heaven to watch over you and you will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.
I'm thinking about Gabby, and what it is like for her little mind to understand what's going on. You're doing such a good job with her Jodi. The fact that she can talk and ask questions is so good. As Just Breathe said, I too will be praying for Gabby's fear to be taken away. Bless her heart.
Abby
The girls and I said a prayer for your sweet Gabby tonight. We pray for all of you each night, but tonight there was a special prayer for Gabby as she tries to make sense of all that has happened in the past week. Big hugs and love to all of you.
Oh, Martino family. I am a friend of Marisa Desai's, who shared your story with me. There are no words to say to ease your pain, but please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Heavy hearts, indeed. Please take good care. - Lindsay
Ohh, poor sweet little Gabby. She is trying to make sense of the word death in her young mind, and is not able to associate it with an illness or various other reasons people pass from this life. I pray that you find the right words and explanations for her, to help her understand what happened, and I hope that this brings you some peace in this difficult time. There are some books out there that may help with this as well. I am so sorry you have to feel this and I hope the healing process starts soon. Bless you all.
Jodi,
Still praying for you every night. Not just you, but Dan and Rocco and Gabby. Some of the hardest conversations I've had with my kids have been about death. I think it's good that Gabby feels comfortable enough to ask about it. There are so many people thinking of and praying for you all. I hope you can feel it and that it helps even just a little.
My heart aches for you and your family. May you find peace and strength in the coming days and months... or years. Matteo will always be yours and his spirit will be with you. You are all in our prayers.
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